A guy I had been on 3-4 dates with left me a voice mail asking if I would dress up as a cat for him. He wanted me to fully act like a cat as well. Said, “I can’t wait to hear you purr.” He ended up dumping me for my best friend before I could dump him… juuuuust realized it’s probably cause she dressed as a sexy cat for Halloween that year…
Where do I sign up?
I have a friend who used to be a Dominatrix… once she was paid $80 to meet a guy in a parking lot and point and laugh at him for five minutes.
Dream jobs do exist.
Just try coconut oil next time:
My BF wanted to spice things up a bit, but didn’t really offer a lot of suggestions. So one night we were laying in bed watching tv, and I went to the kitchen. I thought the idea of something warm and squishy would be great – always thought food sex sounded fun.
I warmed up a large bowl of marshmallow Fluff in the microwave and got a big spoon. Went back to bed and sat quietly, until he looked over and said, “What’s that?” I took a spoon full of warm Fluff and dribbled it down my chest. He went to grab some, and I took a handful and splattered his chest with it also. It was a free-for-all.
We ended up with it everywhere, laughing our asses off. We rolled off the bed and onto the floor, me on top of him, the both of us giggling like idiots. Finally I lifted myself up – but OUCH – the warm Fluff had hardened a bit, and my boobs were stuck to his chest hair. OUCHCHCHCHCHCHC….. slowly trying to rip apart from him, as I pulled his hairs out. “AAAAAAAAAHH!” he screamed. We tried to roll to our sides…. but NOOOOOO his back hair was stuck to the carpet. He started screaming in pain.
It took a very, very, very long time to get unglued from each other and the carpet. We both had red welts on our skin, and he had noticeable bald spots on his chest and back. Never EVER again. Ever. Never.