16. A very revealing first encounter.
“My ex and I started out as a casual relationship. One day after having sex, I went from his room to his bathroom to clean up, and because no one was home I didn’t cover myself up. I’m halfway down the hallway and his mom comes around the corner (she had JUST come home) and laughed at me saying, “oh hey! It’s good to know you’re a true redhead too!”
I wanted to die.
17. Nothing but the tooth.
We had driven up to Chicago where my girlfriend’s parents lived to visit for a weekend. Her mom said to her just before we took off, “just swing by the office (her parents are dentists) so you can get a cleaning while you are here. I will also schedule a chair for c_is_4_cookie as well.”So my first meeting with her parents involved her mom cleaning my teeth while asking me questions. I have to admit, it was an impressive coup.
18. This lady uses a few too many “euphemisms,” if you know what I mean.
His mom asked us if we were “dipping winkies” (please bear in mind I’m a female) and said if he ever needed condoms for us to tell her we’re “hungry for Hardee’s” and she’d know what we meant and wouldn’t have to explain further, and that she would either give us money for or go out and buy us condoms. I was fourteen at the time. Found out years later that she became pregnant and had an abortion at thirteen, she didn’t want us to have to make that decision, so she really was just trying to be helpful. But it was a little much the very first time meeting her.
19. Patience, man, patience.
I was running late to meet her family for the first time and only a few miles from my destination, the car ahead of me was creeping along at 35mph in a 45mph zone. I’m impatient, so I rode their ass pretty hard. They slowed down even more to spite me, so when I finally had a chance to pass them, I got a good look at the stink faces looking back at me as sailed by. I wanted to see what these assholes looked like! Turns out they looked exactly like my girlfriend’s parents. I pulled into her house and a minute later, they did too.After exchanging icy pleasantries, I explained how I had been running late and nervous and excited to meet them and that I don’t normally drive like that. Fortunately, they seemed to believe me and let it go. I went on to date my girlfriend for many years afterward and the only evidence that it ever happened was her father good-naturedly calling me “Speedy Gonzalez” from time to time. Oh and he never let me drive when we went out together.
20. He should have gotten more credit for that killer pun.
I met my high school girlfriends parents during Sunday dinner and her father and I really hit it off. During dinner her mother, whom is named Donna, kept asking me a lot of questions to which her father joked that she had diarrhea of the mouth. I then joked that they should call her Donna-rrhea. Everyone laughed, except her mom, she hated me”