15.
Me: Someday, you’ll have feelings for boys.
6-year-old: I already have feelings for them.
Me: Really?
6: They make me mad.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) August 25, 2016
14.
[At dinner]
Daughter: Daddy, how much of this meatball is meat?
Me: Probably like 90%
D: So it’s 10% balls?
Me: *spits out food*— Tim (@Playing_Dad) January 3, 2016
13.
I was arguing with my husband and my son screamed “yay! TWO christmases!” from the other room.
— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) May 6, 2017
12.
Not sure if I should be more concerned about the son who locked me out of my bedroom today, or the one who showed me how to pick the lock.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) August 16, 2016
11.
Me to my son: You remind me of me.
Son: That’s just mean.— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) August 16, 2016
10.
dad: “come on, you guys are LATE!!!!”
11yo: “you should have started YELLING at us earlier!”— dadmissions (@Dadmissions) June 30, 2016
9.
My 11-year old’s birthday card to me. #blessed pic.twitter.com/URbZEQmmQa
— Brian Sack (@brian_sack) October 5, 2015
8.
Me:”Sweetie, what do you say when you do something wrong?”
4yo: “I didn’t do that!”
— Kathy Cooperman (@Kathy_Cooperman) April 4, 2016
7.
5: daddy can I tell you a secret?
Me: sure thing buddy
5: *grabs my face and whispers* I just pooped and I didn’t wash my hands
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) June 9, 2015
6.
10: Mom what’s a metaphor?
Me: My life is a train wreck.
10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?
— Sardonic Tart ?? (@SardonicTart) December 12, 2014