6YR OLD: does it hurt, daddy?
ME: [with a tissue up my nose to stop the bleeding] yes
6: good…that’ll teach you not to eat my ice cream
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) August 17, 2016
5yo: Just one more question before I go to bed.
5yo: What are the lines on your forehead for?
5yo: Now they look angry.
— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) March 15, 2016
Me: We all make mistakes.
5: Even you?
5: Oh yeah! Like when you’re trying to cook food that tastes good but then it doesn’t?
— Lurkin’ Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 15, 2016
Me: Please get dressed.
9yo: But you’re still in your pajamas!
Me: I AM dressed.
9yo: Is that what you’re calling [waves palm at me] this?
— Kim Bongiorno (@LetMeStart) September 1, 2016
This kid asked me for some skittles but I had just finished them so he stared at me like this the entire flight pic.twitter.com/Doavgl6ZX1
— joshua kimmich stan (@CallMeHuss) September 3, 2015