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17 Servers Shared The Best Secrets They Ever Overheard While Waiting Tables

11. What a moist burger!

when i was a busboy before i started serving tables, i went to drop off food to a middle aged married couple, right when i dropped the food he served her divorce papers saying to sign the divorce right now, The next hour consisted of her sitting there quietly sobbing into a cheeseburger.

12. Good call.

3 top of middle aged men in suits.
Me- hey , welcome to tgimcchilibees, you guys doing okay tonight?
Customer- Not really, we just found out our brother died.
Me- Shit man, here’s the drink menu.

13. So, some vegetarian meals, then?

I walked up during what looked like a lull in conversation between a young couple, but the girl launched into prayer instead, asking for help in keeping her guy away from “the temptations of the flesh” and such. As she went on, eyes closed, the guy looked up at me and shrugged. I never found out what it was all about specifically, but he obviously wasn’t taking it seriously while it was a dire situation for her. They’d only gotten drinks by the time she obviously broke up with him. It was so awkward to ask whether they wanted to order… Or just wanted the check.

14. Flipping the script.

Walked over to basically an intervention where the family was yelling at the dad to stop writing prescriptions to people who didn’t need them because he was going to be caught. He was in denial, they gave no fucks I was standing right there.

15. What is this, Shakespeare?!

“I really can’t wait for my mother to just die. She would never let us sell the hotel, but as soon as she’s gone I’m getting out of this business. I can’t wait to have all that money.” Then they all laughed.

16. And they’re spectacular.

I can’t really think of any, but I do remember hearing a guy yell at a girl “At least my eyebrows are real!”

17. How not to “stick” the landing.

I walked up to a table, that wasn’t mine, to drop off an appetizer:
Me: “Hello, here’s your mozzarella…….
Guy: proposing to girlfriend
Me: “……..sticks.” (Turns and runs away)
Why? Why would you propose in a shitty, cheap, restaurant where the servers wear jeans and tshirts, and you throw peanut shells on the floor? I am forever a part of their engagement story.