If you’ve ever had a job – which is basically anyone in the world – you’d know what it’s like to really, really not want to go into work. Sometimes, plans come up and we’d much rather be out drinking with our friends than doing menial tasks in an office. Other times, we are way too hungover to interact with anyone in the human race. Regardless of the reason – the feeling of wanting/needing/having to call out of work is a universal truth (thanks Jane Austen).
Reddit knows a thing or two about this kind of situation and, managers online shared the craziest and most outlandish excuses their employees have given for calling out of work.
When I used to manage a bar/restaurant I had a server call out because “her boyfriend fucked her in the ass so hard the night before that she couldn’t walk properly”. She prefaced this by saying the she knew she was about to provide me with too much information, but she was raised that honesty is always the best policy. After what felt like an hour of silence, all I could say was “ok”.
I once had an employee call in because he “woke up in poop”.
There’s no recovering a conversation once those words are uttered.
Loosely based, my friend called school in a woman’s voice pretending to be his mum
‘ he can’t come in today his ill’
Teacher-‘ Frank…is that you?’
‘ no it’s my mum….FUCK!’