9. The Maid of Honor who ruined the bachelorette party:
Maid of Honor brought her 1-year-old baby to the bachelorette party and expected the bride to cut the party short as soon as it was time to put the baby to bed.
8. The dumb DJ:
The DJ stupidly opened up the microphone to anyone who wanted to make a speech. This was after an open bar.
One guest made a speech about all the times the bride and groom were on the rocks from his cheating. An old family friend gave a tearful account of how she had wanted to bride to marry her son instead. And another family friend told stories of the groom as a child killing small animals.
It was an amazing wedding.
7. The guests who were goats:
A wedding I was at was next to a goat farm and the goats bleated through the whole ceremony. “Do you BAAAA take BAAAA?” They weren’t really guests, but it was ridiculous.
6. The drunk ex with a plot twist:
The ex-boyfriend forcibly cut in on the bride and groom’s first dance together. After a few awkward and tense moments, some friends dragged him out as he yelled through tears, “I’ll always love you and I’ll be waiting for you when this marriage falls apart!”
Plot twist. Several months into the new marriage, she discovered that her new husband was a scam artist going by a different name, had fake IDs with different aliases, criminal record, been married many times, etc.
He disappeared that same day, and, yes, she now has been happily married for 15+ years and has three children with her wedding crasher ex-boyfriend.
5. The wedding party that threw fists:
I saw a bride get punched in the face by her new sister-in-law during the reception. I also saw the bride (a different bride) punch her new mother-in-law in the face right after the wedding ceremony.
4. The cousin who destroyed a perfect gift:
My wife and I were given a double magnum of 2000 Mouton Rothschild as a gift. My cousin who was already wasted thought we wouldn’t mind if she opened it up and as she is carrying it down to the after party she drops it and it explodes all over my wife’s wedding dress.
3. The bridesmaids who ruined the wedding:
At the wedding bridesmaid 1 found out that bridesmaid 2 had slept with her boyfriend (who was also at the wedding). We had to remove bridesmaid 1 from the venue as there was a high chance murder was going to be committed.
The same wedding the father of the bride was so drunk he threw up in the middle of the dance floor.
2. The fist-happy ring-bearer:
Ring-bearer marched right up to the best man and started punching him in the crotch repeatedly during the ceremony.
1. The fisher:
Wedding reception in the penthouse boardroom of a bank. Lobby of said bank had a koi pond. Someone in the wedding party got wasted, took off his shoes and socks, and went fishing for koi with his bare hands. I wish I could say it was someone else.