7. The candy man can’t.
My wife said I need to grow up. I was speechless.
It's hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) October 10, 2014
8. Marriage is “work.”
"I was just about to do that chore that I see you're starting now"
— ?ack (@Mr_Kapowski) May 10, 2016
9. The heat is on.
[sitting at a table]
Wife: writes number on paper and slides it across.
Me: crosses out and writes new number
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 12, 2015