Each week I put my potential drinking problem to work for the fine fans of YesPlz, polishing off an entire bottle of wine while scouring Twitter for some dank Tweets. Here is what was funny, at least at the time.
A storm is a great time to steal a trampoline from a garden.
They'll assume it blew away.
But they won't look in case it killed someone.
— TwistedDoodles (@twisteddoodles) February 23, 2017
The best stone/bird kill ratio was prolly the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs
— markydoodoo (@markydoodoo) October 14, 2017
IT'S CALLED *ROOMMATES*
YOU INVENTED ***ROOMMATES*** pic.twitter.com/zKo1VrFwqR
— Yulie [NSFL] ? (@sugarsh0t) November 13, 2017
You might remember me from such riveting DMs as “That’s very kind, but I’m married.” and “Thanks! I’m sure you’ve got great tits, too, for a man.”
— Lynn AKA A Birthday Girl Has No Shame (@illiter8too) November 19, 2017
When u plug your phone into your car and the porn you were watching earlier starts blaring thru your speakers pic.twitter.com/1hyTB3wSxo
— w¡ll (@AmericanAsshoIe) November 15, 2017