10. Just aggressive irony
“I went to a public school in Texas, where only abstinence only sex ed is taught, as part of a unit on health your freshman year…there were three pregnant girls in my class. It was a little awkward.”
9. Blue
“A kid in my sex ed class once asked ‘why are periods blue?’
He’d obviously seen a few too many tampon/pad commercials.”
8. Teachers know what’s up.
“As a student I thought it would be funny to ask my grade 7 teacher what tea-bagging was.
I figured she wouldn’t know. Instead she went on a 15-minute speech about what it was and why people may want to do it. The class was so stunned, and I was pretty embarrassed.”
7. “Good for the skin”
A cute girl said, ‘I have never done this, but my boyfriend said sperm is good for the skin and can keep you looking younger if applied to the face. Is this true?’
I openly laughed and at the same time knew that she had been letting her boyfriend c*m on her face because he was able to convince her it was ‘good for her skin.’”
6. Nebraska
“My sex ed teacher in high school wanted to have a serious discussion about STDs because statistically speaking 1/3 students at my school already had one.
She explains this and that the two counties feeding into our high school had some of the highest rates of STDS in the nation. She then asks: ‘So why do you think that is?’
Before she can get in a word about condoms and staying protected, kid pipes up: ‘It’s f*cking Nebraska; what else are we going to do?’”
5. ???
“Some kid in my sex ed class asked if sperm floats…in the air…like a helium balloon.”
4. Multi-Tasking
“In 8th grade sex ed class, the teacher (an old woman who was a nurse) did the usual anonymous questions deal, and it went about as you would expect.
But then she starts reading one to herself, and responds: ‘I, I…I just don’t know…the exact, um…exactly how…the exact circumference of Jupiter…’
Immediately, a stoner-type with long hair in the back of the classroom who had been silent up to this point pops his head up and says, ‘oh, that’s me. I’m tryin’ to do my science homework.’”
3. …not good, man. Not good.
“In grade six, my sex ed teacher opened the class with ‘You girls might think I don’t know much about your bodies, but I just got my wife pregnant for the second time.’ No one said anything.”
2. “From Paul”
“A kid in my first awkward 5th grade sex ed class asked if it hurts to get an erection. They were supposed to be anonymous questions written on notecards but adding “from Paul” didn’t help his case.”
1. Tender Bits
“Our teacher was going over the male reproductive system and went on to say that the purpose of the scrotum was to protect the testicles. From the back of the classroom came the voice of a large football player yelling ‘Well it does a SH*TTY job!’”