I’ve been on twitter for about 6 years now, and it never ceases to amaze me how easy it is to find hilarious jokes for this list every week. You’d think I’d run out at some point, but nope. Twitter is a bottomless well of jokes (and lot’s of other not so great stuff lately) but mostly jokes, and it is my absolute pleasure to bring you this list every week. I assure you it is as much fun for me to make as it is for you to read. So thank you for continuing to read this, because it means I get to continue putting it together. Please enjoy this week’s roundup, and always remember: retweets mean everything.
30.
https://twitter.com/iamspacegirl/status/959518203281014785
29.
I don't get why you have to call my wife *librarian ignores me while on phone* "your husband is here trying to check out a book about ramps"
— brent (@murrman5) July 23, 2015
28.
https://twitter.com/Manglewood/status/963963696665038848
27.
HER: Im breaking up with u
ME: Is it because I say "Uh Oh Spaghetti O's" when things go wrong?
HER: Ya
ME:(under breath) Uh Oh Spaghetti O's— Good Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86) February 10, 2016
26.
why was there always one kid in middle school who had a shirt that said “pain is just weakness leaving the body” lmao chill out man we’re in 7th grade
— eric curtin (@dubstep4dads) March 7, 2018
25.
Really looking forward to the all-cat reboot of Jiro Dreams of Sushi pic.twitter.com/ZQ10tereBb
— Jessie 🦇 (@NicCageMatch) March 7, 2018
24.
https://twitter.com/hippieswordfish/status/739264812970975232
23.
having a gender reveal party tomorrow for the hamster i just got at petco. nothin crazy just gonna flip it over and see if it has a dick or whatever
— eric curtin (@_ericcurtin) January 27, 2018
22.
it all began because bustin made me feel good. but now i'm bustin to feel normal. bustin to feel anything at all.
— 𝓁ℯ𝒾 (@leifromloihi) February 28, 2016
21.
https://twitter.com/vineyille/status/580036338164039681