8.
— Dark Stock Photos (@darkstockphotos) November 16, 2017
7.
facebook ads r cool cuz im like oh look that was the thing I thought about yesterday but never typed or said aloud to another soul on earth
— Chelsea Frei (@chelseabfrei) November 7, 2017
6.
I like the phrase "I wasn't born yesterday" because it emphasizes the fact that babies are stupid.
— Gia Pennacchia (@GiaPennacchia) July 31, 2017
5.
Is Christianity like Scientology where there's levels and you only find out about the really weird stuff once you're in it for a while? Like the introductory class is "helping the poor" but then after a number of years you get to "vote for pedophiles?"
— Kate Willett (@katewillett) November 19, 2017
4.
It looks like someone on the toilet. pic.twitter.com/JuJDX41Yww
— You Had One Job (@CutPics) November 16, 2017
3.
Dr: [looking over charts] seems like you gained a lot of weight.
Me: I'm preparing for a roll.
Dr: You're an actor?
Me: [buttering roll] huh?
— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) November 15, 2017
2.
Thank you for your service, Mr. President. pic.twitter.com/efutYZuFVN
— Sam Adler-Bell (@SamAdlerBell) November 17, 2017
1.
BREAKING: Former co-star accuses Tom Hanks of unwanted touching; "his hand was all over me." pic.twitter.com/8tLvLFYMwq
— Frank Lesser (@sadmonsters) November 18, 2017