25.
[last supper]
drunk jesus: *swinging baguette wildly* You want a piece of me!?— dan mentos (@DanMentos) February 4, 2015
24.
*spends 10 minutes rearranging dishwasher so I can fit the last bowl in*
*sees another bowl in sink*
*looks around*
*puts bowl in trash can*— dan mentos (@DanMentos) July 17, 2015
23.
“Ever wonder why Rice Krispies costs the same as quieter cereals?”
why would-
“It’s because they’re sold by weight-“
Dan, NO
“not by volume”— dan mentos (@DanMentos) February 13, 2015
22.
thank you, Business Insider, for putting things in terms I can understand pic.twitter.com/Lq56u6Ejj8
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) November 6, 2015
21.
mom: *gives birth to me*
doctor: you’re better than this— dan mentos (@DanMentos) July 31, 2016
20.
[taking FRIENDS quiz]
7. Which character do you most identify with?
Ross
8. Which is your least favorite character?
Ross
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) January 22, 2015
19.
I could never attend The World’s Fair because it isn’t.
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) January 24, 2014
18.
[batman watching batman movie]
*batman voice* do I really sound like that— dan mentos (@DanMentos) December 16, 2014
17.
“Sir you have an outstanding balance”
Thank you so much— dan mentos (@DanMentos) November 10, 2014
16.
“I don’t think you understand how words work”
What? Hell, I overstand how words work— dan mentos (@DanMentos) September 3, 2014