20.
when my son was born, my husband cut the umbilical cord and blood splattered EVERYWHERE, including all over my husband’s face. he looked like dexter morgan.
19.
I was pushing when some old guy in shorts and a cardigan walked into my birthing suite. I yelled, ‘Get the f-k out, old man!’…only for my midwife to inform me that he was actually the obstetrician. My bad.
18.
I pushed so hard, fluid shot over the doctor’s shoulder, across the room, and hit the wall! The doctor said that was the first time that had happened in all his years delivering babies. Housekeeping was walking into the room to clean up as they were wheeling me out of L
17.
A little while after I had gotten my epidural, I obviously couldn’t feel anything from my chest down, which was amazing. Then came time to push, my nurse and my husband put my legs in the stirrups and I loudly say, “WHOA! THOSE ARE MINE!!” Because I had no clue my legs had moved, let alone come a couple of inches from my face.
16.
As I was getting ready to push my husband whispered “Maximum Effort” to me.
15.
Literally spent the entire time I was pushing yelling “I don’t want to poo!” In between grunting.
14.
With my daughter, my nurse told me I could start pushing. So I did. As I lay there counting to 10 i looked up and saw Dragon Ball Z on (cell saga) the tv. I was so into the show I would push while looking up and would get frustrated when I was interrupted to push again.
13.
After over two hours of pushing and fifteen hours of labor, the nurse told me to push “long, strong, and hard.” As I was bearing down, I managed to mutter, “That’s what she said.” My husband looked at me like I was completely insane, but didn’t say a word. He later said he thought I was delirious from pain, but I was really just trying to make myself laugh because I was so miserable.
12.
I was given laughing gas for the pain. Didn’t really make me feel better, it just made me feel high. For three hours i pleaded with the nurses and my kid’s dad to go buy me a pizza and those b*****ds never went out to get me one.
11.
I was drugged for my C-section, during which time I apparently smacked my doctor on the a**, so she had them tie my arms down. I have no memory of this.
—Allie Still, Facebook