4. You’re trying to finish without actually enjoying it.
Sex is a marathon, not a sprint. You don’t want to have sex for .5 seconds – unless, you’re strapped for time. But, most of the time, sex feels good when it’s long and jam-packed with foreplay and slow motions until leading up to the big finale. You don’t want to miss all of the orgasmic moments that are involved in sexual intercourse if you’re too busy rushing to get off. Take it easy.
5. You think it’s bad sex if you don’t orgasm.
The goal of sex is not to orgasm – contrary to many people’s belief. There are going to be a lot of times when you have sex and you just don’t get off. Sex should be an enjoyable experience that makes everyone feel good – and, if you don’t cum, you don’t cum. As long as you and your partner are enjoying yourselves and having fun, what else really matters? If you’re too concerned with getting off, you can ruin the entire thing.
6. You or your partner feel horrible afterwards.
If you or partner feels awful after you have had sex with each other – you’re having sex with the wrong person. No one should make you feel insecure about yourself and your body – and vice versa. Not all sex will be incredible – but that doesn’t mean you can nit-pick someone and make them feel bad about themselves and their performance after you’re done. It’s more important to have a conversation with them later on than making them feel bad naked, sweaty and ashamed.
7. You try to mimic porn far too often.
Porn is a great place to get pointers and tips on how to switch things up in the bedroom – but not everyone is a porn star. Don’t hurt yourself trying to bend all the way backwards for your partner and end up needing to head over to the ER because you pulled your back out. Instead, use it for “guidance” rather than something you need to copy 100%. Also, before trying anything new – make sure your partner is okay with it and comfortable with it.
8. You never talk about sex.
If you’re sleeping with someone, you should be comfortable talking to them about sex. This way, there’s no awkwardness between you when you’re getting down and dirty. Plus, you’ll know your limits and your partner’s limits before making anyone feel uneasy.