17 Horrifying First Date Stories You Should Only Read If You Never Plan On Dating Again

Certainly most of us have been on a bad date before, or at least on a bad hang-out-we’ll-technically-qualify-as-a-date. In an age where many seek out relationships through a variety of social medias, the odds of not having at least one weirdo experience are higher than the alternative.

And yet, all the bad first date stories I’ve ever heard combined do not even remotely stack up to the horror experienced by these 17 unfortunate individuals. We scoured several different AskReddit threads to bring you the worst of the worst of the worst.

17. Way to dodge that bullet:

About 9 years ago I was bored and unsure where to meet new people after ending a four year relationship… so I decided to give online dating a try. It seemed like a great idea.

Eventually I start emailing this awesome guy – his messages are laced with genuine wit and charm. He’s good looking. He’s smart, well educated and makes me laugh. Everything seems fantastic and eventually we meet at a coffee shop.

He looks even better than his photo. Score. He has a great smile and is as tall as he said he was. Everything was super amazing great.

As we sit at the coffee shop we make small talk and I notice he is starting to sweat. Not a little nervous sweat, but I-just-ran-a-marathon-sweat. I ask him if he’s just worked out to make conversation and he spends the next hour detailing all of his mental health and medical problems including his glandular problems, explosive temper, anxiety and jealousy.

He looks around nervously and mentions that his ex has a restraining order against him and that he’s afraid she just walked by the coffee shop. He asks me to meet him a few blocks away so he doesn’t get arrested.

I just gathered up my bag, walked straight to my car and drove away without even a goodbye. Thanks!

16. I mean, let’s just hope she was trolling you? Let’s just hope:

I once went on a date with a girl and this is how the conversation went.

Her: “So whats your favorite book?” Me: “Tough, but when I was little I LOVED Jurassic Park” Her: “Yuck, Jurassic Park” Me: “The book or the movie? EVERYBODY loves Jurassic PARK!” Her: “I don’t believe in dinosaurs” Me: “Fossils?!??!??!” Her: “I don’t want to get into it but I think fossils are bulls**t”

I ended the conversation there and held onto the night. Until later on she told me, “I don’t believe in outer space” and my head exploded.

15. Makes you wonder what type of vibe you put out there:

I had just come back home from college and was having a night drinking at the local watering hole when I noticed the place had a new bartender. New attractive bartender. Short hair, nice tattoos that were clearly leading to interesting places and an Electric Six shirt. Fuck. Yes.

So I start making a bit of conversation, and much to my surprise, we seem to really hit it off. And not just bartender-is-everyones-best friend-until-they-leave hitting it off, but really cool conversation.

She starts hinting at if I’m seeing anyone, and I say no, and she immediately reaches into her pocket and starts writing something down.

“On top is the number at the apartment, and these are directions. We’re having a party on Wednesday night, and you should come.”

True enough, a phone number and directions.

What would you think?

Wednesday comes and I’m dressed up and ready to impress. I head over to her place, knock on the door and there she is, looking amazing. She smiles and hugs me, grabs me by the hand and drags me through the party until she gets to this big dude.

“Jonas, this is my roommate Jeff. Jeff, this is Jonas.”

I do the whole pleasantry thing, but when I turn around, she’s gone. I mean, poof. Gone. Like Batman.

Not knowing anyone else, I just keep on talking to Jeff. Seems like a good guy.

Suddenly he stops me mid sentence and says,”You’re not gay, are you?”


“You should really tell Liz that.”

She had apparently set up the entire part as an excuse to hook me up with her roommate. I had been on a blind date with a dude and didn’t even know.