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17 Horrifying First Date Stories You Should Only Read If You Never Plan On Dating Again

5. Aw, I feel kind of bad for laughing at that last bit:

The set up was fun, we decided not to talk at all before we met, kinda like a real date would go before the internet. So we were both excited, set up to meet at an old bar in the city. I got there early, she arrived 5 min later. We talked, she suggested we eat. I wasn’t super hungry, but got something. She drank about 4 drinks. During conversation, we had a lot in common, worked at the same place about a month apart, same movies, music, etc. Then at the end, I ask for the check. She says she needs to go to the bathroom, and then gets up and straight leaves. Just right out the front door, adios. I went back to ask her why she did that, she deleted her account. I’m not entirely sure she wasn’t just a very hungry ghost.

4. I feel really bad for everyone in this story:

I should really be working but I cannot resist typing up this story.

3-4 months ago I was talking to a girl on okcupid. Things were going pretty well and we decided to to get together. I was on a budget because I was saving to move out of the country, so I suggested as local thai place which had $0.25 cent beers with an entrée, figuring the food was pretty decent and the cheap beer wouldn’t hurt.

I offered to pick her up but she declined, which is completely respectable. The night of the date I’m running about 5 minutes late and feeling a bit rushed when I get a call from her. Even though I gave her an exact address in an easy to find place in town, she’s having trouble getting there. She ends up calling me back 6-7 times in the next 45 minutes as she tries to find her way there, no advice I could give was helping this girl. By this point I’ve already been there 30+ minutes and am about 3/4ths of the way through my first beer. Red flags about how incompetent this girl must be are going crazy, but I’m already on the ride. The final time she calls me she says “hey is there parking lot?” to which I reply “no, it’s all street parking, but there were a lot of open spots when I parked” she then replies “I don’t know how to parallel park”. Mind you this is a city, parallel parking is a way of life. I’m pretty dumbfounded that she doesn’t possess this skill.

This is already a nightmare in my mind, and as I sit there pondering how to solve it she asks if I would mind coming out to park her car. I agree and start walking outside, being a bit embarrassed at having to explain that I’ll be right back to the hostess.

I walk outside and a few minutes later she pulls up. First of all, this girl was not as advertised. I got myspace angled hard. I’m not someone who needs the perfect girl, but I’m telling you this was out of control. I climb into the drivers seat and the first thing I say his how weird it is. I tell her I haven’t driven anything but a manual in 3 years and her automatic feels very strange.

I slowly accelerate and head down the block, about 3/4ths of the way down I see an open spot. I let off the gas and instinctively go to push in the clutch. Instead, I stomped the brake. Hard. This girl had quite a lot of mass, and wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. Any physics student knows what happened next. Her head flies forward and nails the dashboard. I start apologizing like crazy, and luckily she wasn’t hurt. We spent the next hour having a really awkward dinner and then parted ways. No, we didn’t call each other.

3. He’s probably in jail today:

Over a coffee date (15 minutes), said he wanted to tie me up and f***** me and take pictures of it. I just laughed nervously. He then informed me he had all the gear in his truck in the parking lot so we could just do it right then and there.

It was 11 AM.

He was in his 50s.