in So That Happened

Woman Makes Bizarre Engagement Announcement Online–And People Are Very Confused

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Sometimes you stumble across a love story so beautiful the haters can’t help but try and destroy it. Other times, you stumble across one of the most bizarre ‘relationships’ you have ever seen. In this case, it’s option B. This nice young lady has a history of falling in love with random objects, she identifies as “objectum sexual.” At the tender age of 14, she fell madly in love with a drum kit, today she is in an open ‘relationship’ with TWO chandeliers. Amanda, you dog, you. She is actually ‘engaged’ to one chandelier she refers to as Lumière (be more original, I dare you) which is new for Amanda.

She hasn’t taken this huge step with any other object before because, you know, engagements are hard. Luckily, for Amanda, Lumière is super chill. The two have an open relationship, when the sun goes down and Amanda is feeling hot and bothered she turns to her portable chandelier, Jewel. The two usually cuddle the night away while Lumière is left hanging (chandelier joke). This helps even out the age gap between 90-year-old Lumière and 33-year-old Amanda. I’m all about loving WHO ever you want, I have no beef with love, I just can’t help to find it a bit strange that this lady can’t resist inanimate objects.

Now, who doesn’t love them some lady liberty? It’s tough not to love her, I mean look at that face. The way she so confidently carries that torch, it’s understandable to see someone getting a bit worked up over her. Traveling across the pond 6 times to see the incredible statue in all of her glory? Absolutely bananas. I live 20 minutes away and I’ve been there maybe 3 times, that’s probably twice too many. Regardless, people aren’t too hyped with their engagement.

“For example, I love kissing and cuddling Lumiere, but I sleep with Jewel every night, as she is portable and very nice to cuddle.

“I’ve always loved the look of chandeliers and when I saw my first chandelier, Luna, it was love at first sight.

“You can’t control who you fall in love with and things just went from there.

Now, many people including myself might not understand objectophilia. That’s okay, I mean it is declaring your love for a non-living entity, even going through an engagement. There are a few upsides, Amanda will not be cheated on anytime soon, Lumière won’t be super controlling texting her all night while she’s out having fun with her girls, he’ll be no problem at all to turn on, she never even has to share her food with her significant other thing. Maybe she’s got things all figured out and we’re all doing this whole loving another human thing wrong, either way you know the reception will be lit! You know, maybe the world just isn’t ready for this timeless love story like this, I know for sure Twitter isn’t.

Very valid points.

Cheers! To the happy couple!