There are tons of dating trends that happen to make their way into dating culture within society and most of them are pretty disgusting and harsh. Many dating trends revolve around playing games with people you’re in casual relationships with or just “casually hooking up with,” but, there are dating trends that can be completely toxic and occur when you’re in a serious relationship with someone.
Cue “gaslighting.”
For those who don’t know what gaslighting is – it’s the manipulation of people in order for the person to get what they want. It also is a tactic that makes people question their own reality. That, within itself, is toxic enough. But, the way in which people “gaslight” in their relationships is just full on mind blowing.
Gaslighting can be really simple…
Someone lying to you is a form of gaslighting, because it makes you question if anything they’ve said to you in the past is a lie or a truth. As well, when you find out they’ve lied, it makes you question your entire relationship overall – which is questioning your reality. Lying, in itself, is a form of manipulation – because the person is manipulating the truth in order to gain their desires.
Gaslighting can also be as simple as someone denying they have done or said something, even though you have proof. In turn, you start to feel as though you’re crazy or they’re crazy for denying things that are concrete.
Gaslighting can also be really complicated…
Gaslighting can be complicated because the person can plan their manipulation very meticulously. While they often exhibit toxic behaviors and treat you pretty poorly, they will throw in good, positive and non-toxic actions towards you so that it confuses you even more. This complicates your relationship, because you begin to justify their negative qualities, now that you’ve seen positive ones.
People can also use your friends and family to gaslight you. They can perpetuate the notion that “you are crazy,” by convincing those around you that there is something off or wrong with you. Then, people will begin to be concerned with you and you start to question your own mental health yourself.
There are signs of gaslighting throughout any relationship…
When someone is a manipulator towards other people, outside of your relationship, it’s only a matter of time before they use these bad habits on you. The longer you stay together, the more you perpetuate this kind of behavior.
Gaslighting is toxic to any relationship – romantic or friendship – and should never be accepted. The more you allow their behavior to carry on, the more you dig yourself into a hole that can negatively and permanently affect your mental health – as an individual. It’s a severe form of domestic abuse, although it is not physical.
Gaslighting can only stop when you allow it…
Putting your foot down and walking away from those who try to manipulate you is the first step to preventing this toxic behavior to become apart of your life. Some people stay so long in these kinds of relationships, they’ve convinced that there’s something wrong with them rather than seeing the negative abuse their partner is using against them.
Be strong enough to see toxic behavior and be strong enough to walk away.