Honestly, I think we can all agree that it’s been a long week, full of tedious daily routines and a depressing news cycle. But! There’s one silver lining: all of these people had a worse week than you did, hands down.
Let’s all enjoy some secret satisfaction by giggling over their collective misfortune, shall we?
5. Sean Hannity
When the FBI raided Trump lawyer Michael Cohen’s office last week, they obtained documents which revealed that Cohen actually served as a legal advisor for several other clients. One of those clients was revealed to be
This week, we discovered that this third client was none other than Fox News’ Sean Hannity.
While Hannity denied that Cohen ever represented him, he admitted on Twitter that he “occasionally had brief discussions with him about legal questions about which I wanted his input and perspective.”
Obviously, this discovery doesn’t make Hannity or Fox News look great, considering that Hannity has spent much of his airtime railing against the Mueller investigation and the raid on someone who he neglected to mention was his OWN LAWYER.
Hannity being wrapped up in the Trump/Cohen drama is a PERFECT ILLUSTRATION of the role Fox News plays as the propaganda arm for the Republican party. https://t.co/pyTQyPJHan
— jordan (@JordanUhl) April 16, 2018
4. Tristan Thompson
Since footage leaked of Tristan Thompson cheating on Khloé Kardashian as she was about to give birth to their baby, he’s pretty much been in the doghouse, as far as the public is concerned.
When it was revealed that Khloé named the couple’s baby “True Thompson,” however, it became pretty obvious that A.) Khloé has probably forgiven Tristan enough to give their baby his last name, and B.) she is definitely twisting the knife in reminding him of his infidelity on a DAILY BASIS.
“True” Thompson. Clearly not named after Daddy. ?
— Perez Hilton (@PerezHilton) April 16, 2018
Tristan should just consider himself lucky that “Infidelity Thompson” would make for a terrible name.
3. Kellyanne Conway
— Good Morning America (@GMA) April 16, 2018
On Sunday evening, Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway gave an interview discussing former FBI Director James Comey and his upcoming book, which discusses the 2016 election and his dealings with the Trump administration. In a somewhat bizarre turn of events, Conway insisted that Comey’s account could not be trusted because, essentially, he’s the one who made Trump president.
“This guy swung an election,” Conway told George Stephanopoulos on Good Morning America. “He thought the wrong person would win. His people in his household wanted the other person to win. And now, at the end of your interview, George, he gave a free political commercial, telling people to go out and vote against the president and his interests.”
Um … did you just admit that the results of the 2016 election were, perhaps, not the result of Trump’s stable genius, Kellyanne?
As if that awkward phrasing weren’t embarrassing enough, this unfortunate (read: fantastic) meme was also borne from the interview:
Inconceivably Cursed Image pic.twitter.com/UpyMrTzRLQ
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) April 16, 2018
@Starbucks The police were called because these men hadn’t ordered anything. They were waiting for a friend to show up, who did as they were taken out in handcuffs for doing nothing. All the other white ppl are wondering why it’s never happened to us when we do the same thing. pic.twitter.com/0U4Pzs55Ci
— Melissa DePino (@missydepino) April 12, 2018
Okay, Starbucks has obviously had a pretty terrible week, PR-wise.
Over the weekend, a video showing two black men getting arrested in a Starbucks for “trespassing” (read: “not buying anything”) went viral. As a result, many called for Starbucks boycotts, and the company’s CEO scrambled to issue an apology.
Since the news story broke, other unflattering Starbucks stories have been cropping up, such as this video clip from a black customer who was denied the bathroom code because he had not yet made a purchase — when a white dude was apparently given the code without having to purchase anything.
Here we go again.
Meet Brandon Ward. He was @Starbucks – about to make a purchase – and needed to use the restroom.
They denied him the code.
He then finds a white man, Weston, who came out of the restroom.
He had not made a purchase but they gave HIM the code.
— Shaun King (@ShaunKing) April 16, 2018
Maybe Starbucks can use the weekend to reconvene and get their sh*t together, because this narrative is getting out of control.
1. The Tribeca Film Festival Moderator
At this year’s Tribeca Film Festival, the moderator for the Scarface panel decided that it would be a suitable question to ask actress Michelle Pfeiffer about her weight “Michelle, as the father of a daughter concerned with body image, the preparation for this film, what did you weigh?” the moderator posed. (Honestly, if you have to frame your question in a way that implies you cannot empathize with women unless they’re the result of your sperm, you’re doing “feminism” incorrectly.)
At this point, one of the audience members yelled, “WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW?” and the moderators question prompted a round of boos from the audience.
Pfieffer, ever professional, attempted to answer the question in a more thoughtful way, as opposed to simply listing off her weight.
“Well, okay, I don’t know. But I was playing a cocaine addict so that was part of the physicality of the part which you have to consider,” Pfeiffer responded. “The movie was only supposed to be what, a three-month or four-month [shoot] and then, of course, they tried to time it so that as the movie went on I became thinner and thinner and more emaciated.”
“The problem was the movie went six months,” she continued. “I was starving by the end of it because the one scene that was the end of the film where I needed to be my thinnest, it was [pushed to the] next week and then it was the next week and then it was the next week. I literally had members of the crew bringing me bagels because they were all worried about me and how thin I was getting. I think I was living on tomato soup and Marlboros.”
While the answer certainly addresses some of the industry’s more questionable practices, the debacle is still an important reminder that asking a woman about her weight pretty much perpetuates the body image issues that you’re so “concerned” about overcoming.