Mercury is in retrograde, and we all know what that means, right?
Anyone? I don’t. I suppose I could’ve done a little research for this article, but let’s be honest. It doesn’t mean a damn thing. Mercury being in retrograde means you have an excuse for all of the poor decisions that led to you being in a bad situation. Not that I’m judging you. I love anything that allows me to act without taking responsibility for my actions. “Sorry, mercury is in retrograde.” “Sorry, I was really drunk.” “Sorry, but God has a plan for everything.” They all work, so get out there and do some damage while you can still blame it on Mercury.
22. There’s plenty of dick in the sea, and it’s never a wrong time to go fishing.
Mercury is in retrograde this is not the time to go on a search for some new dick bitch stay the fuck home
— virgo (@allmenaintshit) December 3, 2017
21. Enjoy it while it lasts, because when it’s over you’re just an asshole.
I will fucking blame all my melt downs and dramatic tendencies on mercury retrograde and no one can stop me!!!!!! Bye
— C (@Cindy_killa) December 6, 2017
20. Sounds like everyone else’s problem to me.
mercury is in retrograde u know what that means ladies pic.twitter.com/kVlpEak7Id
— ???? ♥ (@kobychill) December 5, 2017
19. *opens laptop and ruins everything with that*
*shuts my phone off until mercury retrograde is over*
— virgo (@allmenaintshit) December 3, 2017
18. Burn your house down before the wildfire gets to you.
show mercury retrograde who’s boss by sabotaging yourself. you don’t even need it. *it* should be afraid of *you!*
— JuanPa (@jpbrammer) December 5, 2017
17. Non believers don’t get any of the sweet, sweet excuses.
Me: Astrology is fake
Y’all: Mercury is in retrograde
Me: pic.twitter.com/JwgLj51Q63
— The Gay Burn Book (@SouthernHomo) December 5, 2017
16. Sorry, it’s out of my hands.
me: *maybe eats once a day, drinks/eats food terrible for my system, sleeps 4 hours a night*
my body: *gets sick*
me: that goddamn mercury retrograde— Princess Olive (@stopolive) December 5, 2017
15. Don’t talk about it, be about it.
You know what’s worse than Mercury being in retrograde? Being constantly told that Mercury is in retrograde.
— OMG, LaJethro (@LaJethroJenkins) December 5, 2017
14. Put yourself out there and see what happens.
Mercury: in retrograde
My titties: out— witch (@torawht) December 5, 2017
13. Like, weird how? Tbh they’re all weird.
Mercury is in retrograde and I have the WEIRDEST boner
I don’t know how astrology works
— Wonder Boy ? (@CodyMarkRankin) December 3, 2017