13. This kid, who’s too smart for her dad’s shenanigans.
Me: Guess what time it is?
6-year-old: I don’t have to guess. I can read the clock.
Me: It’s time to clean your room.
6: No, it’s 2:45.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) November 23, 2016
12. This son, who wants his dad to have a terrifying sh*t.
11. This despicable destroyer of bananas.
My son got mad at me yesterday and opened all the bananas in the house. What type of passive aggressive monster… pic.twitter.com/4p2Ucqh9NF
— Victor Pope Jr (@VictorPopeJr) March 9, 2016
10. This unsettling list-maker.
My daughter brings a checklist to stores now and just makes random checks. It makes everyone uncomfortable. pic.twitter.com/UgHJ4eIDSc
— Bottlerocket (@bottlerocket) September 25, 2016
9. This disconcerting vocab teacher.
4yo son said the word prototype. When I asked him what it meant, he said “People are a prototype” and I was too scared to ask what he meant.
— Kristin (@FeralCrone) February 7, 2015
8. This kid who’s just questioning the entire damn system.
Me: Let’s go to the store.
5 yo: Why?
M: For food.
M: So we can eat.
M: To stay alive.
M: I have no idea.
— Jackie Bouvier (@jackiembouvier) January 19, 2017
7. The child who answers logic puzzles with “death.”
The first guess from one of my 1st graders was “death” and such an awed, somber, reflective hush fell over the class that I didn’t want to tell them that actually the answer is the letter e, which just seemed so banal in the moment pic.twitter.com/7sYFxHNcZk
— Bret Turner (@bretjturner) January 2, 2018
6. This amateur security advisor.
Me: “Why are these Legos all over the floor?!”
5: “To keep everyone else away; it’s my computer turn.”
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) January 21, 2017
5. This ravenous zombie superhero.
My child went to art day-camp today. One project was to make a new superhero. This is what my child made. pic.twitter.com/SvKUoAJJUT
— A Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) August 7, 2017