Kids are the future — and the future is apparently terrifying. Here are some young minds who will probably be ruling us all one day.
23. This diabolical entrepreneur.
My neighbor’s 5yo son bought GS cookies for 20% off & sold them for double. He’s going to be a billionaire or convict. There’s no in between
— jj hartinger (@jjhartinger) January 25, 2017
22. The kid who knows it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
KIDS: [from the kitchen] dad…may we have ice cream?
ME: no you may not
K: dad…may we be forgiven if we already had ice cream?
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) June 9, 2016
21. This flatterer with ulterior motives.
SON: you’re pretty
SON: even when you just waked up you’re so pretty
SON: can i have Doritos for lunch
ME: there it is
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) June 16, 2017
20. This savage future leader who can barely be bothered with worrying about other people’s feelings.
My 11yo wrote me an apology for misbehaving in the car that included “I love you so much but sometimes forget to care about your existence.”
— A Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) April 27, 2016
19. This child, who fully expects everyone to do her bidding.
4: Teacher says if our house is on fire, you and mommy and firefighters will save us.
Me: That’s right.
4: I think I’ll save myself and everyone else should just save my stuff.
— Distracted Dad (@Distracted_Dad) March 19, 2018
18. The kid who has already developed bougie tastes.
A 3 year old just looked me in the eye and said “get me a la croix or get out of my life” and I was like, damn queen ok
— Ash (an female) (@adult_mom) March 19, 2018
17. This kid, who has developed an early appreciation for dangerous weaponry.
My 2yo said she is a grown up. I told her she isn’t, that she is a toddler. She replied, “No, I’m a grown up. I’m going to touch knives.”
— jess (@jessokfine) June 29, 2015
16. The child who could probably defend himself in court.
Me: Did you just push your sister?
Me: Looked like you did.
4yo: I just gave her a high five with my whole body.
— Jason Osmond (@Jasonmarriedup) November 25, 2017
15. This wannabe letter-forger.
my mom writes my little brothers teacher a note and he brings it back home the next day and says she wrote this?? pic.twitter.com/lAVjFZIcEE
— britt (@Brittanyr7513) March 10, 2016
14. This kid, who is so damn smart that she doesn’t wanna make other people feel bad.
My 5yo on her 1st day of K: “They asked me to count as high as I could. I could’ve done 200, but I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time.”
— Bridget Liszewski (@BridgetOnTV) August 26, 2017