19.
When a friend asks me when was the last time I got laid pic.twitter.com/MozkY2tERT
— Tsume (@TsumeAlphaWolf) February 23, 2016
18.
ME: im sick of being single
FRIEND: want me to set u up with someone?
ME: absolutely not, i’d have to put on pants & talk. no thank u— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) November 19, 2015
17.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant
— Mary Kobayashi (@MaryKoCo) November 5, 2012
16.
15.
I’m single by choice…of others.
— courtney (@ocourtneyno) August 27, 2012
14.
When people ask about my Love Life > pic.twitter.com/l8H5J11Nef
— Ugly Naked Guy ? (@Femi_17) August 17, 2015
13.
12.
You can tell how single I am by the way my cat and dog wear their sombreros with quiet dignity and acceptance.
— Angie Davis ❤’s peen (@AngieDavisHaha) January 31, 2014
11.
[me as a DJ]
Where my single ladies at?
*drunk responses*
This one’s for you
*turns off music, serious tone*
This is a bad place to meet men— Jebby (@Jennuflect) September 18, 2015
10.
Tired of being single? Just lower your standards a bit. My new girlfriend is a coconut taped to a mop.
— Mike Bianchi (@Mike_Bianchi) January 1, 2016