When you reach a certain point in life, people around you inexplicably begin coupling up like they’re contestants on a dance-centric reality TV competition — which leaves befuddled single folk standing around in the wings, wondering WTF happened. While singledom can be fantastic (no sharing takeout, nobody judging you for staying home in pajamas all day, no uncomfortable realizations that you’re dating an assh*le), it also comes with its own set of challenges (way too much time on your hands, a crushing sense of loneliness, an inability to open certain pickle jars).
While being single can ultimately be a pretty fantastic lifestyle choice, it can be helpful to commiserate with other singletons about your mutual independence. After all, if you can’t laugh about the unsatisfactory loneliness, it might crush you forever. (But in, like, a fun, free-spirited way!)
Being single is the best. So much time to do what you want. Think and reflect. Stare into the void and try to remember what touch felt like.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) September 1, 2016
me: I want a relationship!!
someone: hi I’d like a relationship with you
— karl from down in the morgue (@kala5000) February 7, 2017
When people ask why I’m single pic.twitter.com/ioJSIHOvyB
— Cam Salamone (@whamitscam) September 17, 2016