Let’s face it, when you’re on social media, you end up scrolling aimlessly while watching TV or texting someone else–we’re hardly ever “paying attention.” So, you probably missed some of these hilarious tweets from this month that made it into the top tear of Twitter. Don’t worry, we got you.
professional comedian: [genuine funny joke with context and a punchline]
me: .. ok
twitter user: we need a disney princess with a yeast infection
— john (@Scarlet4UrMa) March 25, 2018
My daughter just tried pizza for the first time. pic.twitter.com/yiPNJgUBJg
— Jody Avirgan (@jodyavirgan) March 3, 2018
just dyed my hair and I can’t wait for it to dry so I could regret it pic.twitter.com/AXt6GIbkBv
— mika (@VIOLADAVlS) March 26, 2018
The girl Flo Rida sings about in Low was wearing apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur, baggy sweatpants, AND reeboks with the straps all at the same time so we must conclude that she was, in fact, a centaur. In this essay I will
— Splenda Pappy (@caroline_oreo) March 26, 2018
Marvel: ‘Infinity War is the most ambitious crossover event in history’
— Bobby Palmer (@thebobpalmer) March 19, 2018
Trying to be honest with my therapist but not so honest that I get involuntarily hospitalized pic.twitter.com/Axm1AHaxWl
— Viv (@pxwertrip_) March 15, 2018
my organs: …water….pls..
me, pouring a glass of wine: come get y’all juice!!
— Wigmund Freud (@AdulteRus) March 19, 2018
my dad asked me how to spell katy perry a couple minutes ago and now i’m an accessory to this crime pic.twitter.com/18qxMBuTjJ
— katie (@k8monstr93) March 13, 2018
Made a sandwich 10 min ago and been looking for it ever since then??♂️ I gotta stop smoking? pic.twitter.com/NCbNOyvZXe
— KENSON #SE (@F_Kenson) March 12, 2018
I found my new favorite meme pic.twitter.com/QGB1bH5sSV
— teen beach movie enthusiast (@increasethesoup) March 20, 2018
Very proud to announce that I am officially a lost cause! Thank you all for your continued support unfortunately it was all for nothing!
— Ellie (@uh_laine) March 19, 2018