4. jekylphd’s friends really had a shitty experience:
A couple of our boys were on the return leg of an offshore crew change. Fifteen minutes out from the deck, they catch movement in the back – one of the passengers has unbuckled his harness and is getting up out of his seat. Big ‘no’ on a helicopter. But before they can do or say anything, the guy grabs an airsick bag, drops his dacks, positions the bag under his bum and lets rip.
The bag lasted maybe three seconds.
‘Explosive’ does not do this bout of diarrhea justice. Volcanic might not. If I hadn’t seen the photos, I wouldn’t have believed it. It coated the floor, his seat, the seats beside it and the poor sods in them, splashed the windows and ceiling and row of seats behind. Shit. Everywhere. And the smell.
5. BrosenkranzKeef still can’t get over Greg the Moron:
Survey pilot here: Sometimes when I’m flying back and forth for 5 hours straight I need to piss in a bottle. One of my coworkers had his dick slip out of the bottle while he was going full bore, and he pissed all over the instrument panel. You should have heard his desperation on the radio. A couple weeks later, for our bi-monthly rotation, a new guy took his plane, and we didn’t tell him that Greg pissed all over it like a moron. Fucking Greg.
6. RockSuit witnessed the world’s least-romantic handjob:
There was this woman with a coat. There was something odd, but I didn’t know what immediately. There was also a guy sitting next to her. They were quite close to each other. The woman was a bit leaned forward with her big coat and the guy was as far back on his seat as possible so the vision was blocked. When I looked closer, I saw her coat go up and down near her legs. Slight movement, hard to catch without focus. But she was actually getting fingered and the face was fighting not to moan and orgasm out load. I could see her eyelids drop down and the feeling and heat in her face. I think she was having an orgasm at the moment she leaned forward further, as some sort of decoy or explanation for the movements she had to suppress.
7. KapitaanKrunch’s friend at least got a good laugh out of this asshole passenger’s antics:
Not me but a friend who’s a flight attendant who came across this really stubborn male passenger who wanted a sanitary pad that he saw the flight attendant hand over to a female passenger, convinced that it was an eye mask thingy you put on before sleeping. Arguing with her about it, she finally gave in and gave the sanitary pad to the guy who coolly removed the anti-adhesive and stuck it on his eyes and went to sleep