Considering the size, cleanliness and overall comfort level of the average coach seat on a domestic flight, it’s sort of a wonder that air travel was once considered to be a glamorous method of travel. In the days of Don Draper you might feel utterly luxurious lounging around in your retro flight, but nowadays, you’re lucky if you aren’t driven to the brink of insanity by security lines, inexplicable delays, and screaming babies. (Sorry, babies: I know it’s not your fault, but I’m still holding my damn grudge.)
A recent AskReddit thread did absolutely nothing to lessen my disdain for flying.
The thread prompted flight attendants to share their most NSFW/WTF air travel experiences, and the stories are horrifying enough to have me considering putting a travel ban on myself:
1. AWalker17 wants every dude to know that their horny dreams are definitely not private:
Everyone is telling once in a lifetime type stories, but the most common NSFW thing that happens on airplanes is dudes falling asleep and getting noticeable boners.
2. SpacemanBif’s experience was the stuff of nightmares:
As a Flight Engineer in the AF flying out of an island in the Pacific.
A sailor had fallen overboard and drowned. The Navy recovered his body a few days later. Since this is down range, only a body bag is available, not a transport casket.
Before takeoff the load master comes to the cockpit screaming, yelling and babbling. He says the body in the bag is wiggling.
Turns out eels have entered his body via his mouth and are wiggling within his body and causing the movement.
3. RoronoaZoro1102 story involved the world’s most unfortunate impromptu nap:
I have a female friend who flies transatlantic as a flight attendant. She told me a story of how one of the passengers had been in the bathroom for at least 15 mins. Being a busy flight, people were pissed off and complained to her that he had been in there for a long time.
She went to the door, knocked a couple of times with no response. Obviously being concerned for this passengers safety, the doors were opened. Inside was a guy on the toilet, trousers around ankles, headphones in his phone with porn playing and flaccid penis in hand. Bro fell asleep while whacking it in an airplane toilet. Embarrassment ensued!