10.
I was out with some friends for a birthday party, and turns out one of the people attending was a guy I used to work with when we were both awkward teenagers. He sees me, recognizes me, and stays pretty much at my side the whole evening. Apparently he had been kicking himself for years for never having asked me out while we worked together. I had a little crush on him years ago, so I was flattered. It would have been sweet, if he hadn’t told me every time he happened to see me over the past 5 years, whether it was while I was walking somewhere or out with friends.
All through the evening, in various states of inebriation, he asked me over and over again to go to dinner. But not till x number of days later, since he was getting his license back after a DUI. I halfheartedly agreed, party because I have trouble rejecting people earnestly in their faces, and partly because the guy whose birthday it was insisted I go out with him also, since they were good friends. So we exchanged numbers and he promised to call.
We did end up going for dinner, and it was one of the most awkward dates in my life. Within the first 15 minutes he made two incredibly sexist comments that almost had me leave the table. (And he thought rice was considered a vegetable nutritionally, but that’s another point entirely.) We did end up being able to make it through dinner somehow, and then he wanted to go for a drive around the city. In silence. For over an hour. I was so relieved when I finally got home.
9.
We agreed to meet at a restaurant that is popular with locals. I walked around looking for a single lady and couldn’t find a table that wasn’t more than one person waiting. Eventually texted her and she was at a table with another girl. Yup, she’d brought a friend. I was ignored the entire time. Ate my teriyaki rice bowl, drank a pint, chatted up the waitress and politely excused myself. Waste of my fucking evening.
8.
Within 5 minutes of meeting, she told me about how she used to pee in her ex’s orange juice.
7.
More of a friend date, but I met a guy on OkCupid who seemed like a chill dude to get drinks with and shoot the shit.
Turns out he’s an anti-vaxxer, but not because of autism. He doesn’t want children who are vulnerable to illness to pollute our gene pool.
6.
Drove a total of 6 hours to meet a guy I was talking to online who seemed nice. We saw a movie together which was largely uneventful and we got back to his car and he starts telling me to crush his junk
5.
Went on a date w a dude from online. It was easier to find other gay dudes that way, this was about 2002 ish. I sensed he was a bit off. Like he was shy but asked really strange questions. He was oddly infatuated with the fact that I was 18 (he was 21, so not like a huge difference). He kept sayin things like, “youre gonnna grow” and “you’re gonna get bigger” out of context. Thing is he was super hot and not a native speaker of English. I figured it was a language thing. So I go to his place, because I was a dumb horny 18 yo. I go into his room while he goes into the bathroom, and in his room while I’m waiting for him to come back, he has a wall of pictures of himself, and just himself. Not at monuments, or with family. Him, showing no expression, by a tree. They were all the same tree, but he was in different clothes and the same blank expression. There had to be like 20 of em, and it freaked me out. I noped outta there real quick. Was way more cautious after that.
4.
Met a girl online once and she lived in a very small town about and hour away. I met her at her house and which was out in the boonies with no one around. We smoked a joint, had a couple beers and started making out. It escalated pretty quickly and she mentioned she had a couple sleeping pills that if you fought off the sleep you would get really horny. We end up taking the pills (no idea what they were to this day) and start fucking. After finishing the deed she turns to me and looks me dead in the eye and says “want to see my stabbing knife!?”,About a 9′ blade and sharp as a mother fucker. at this point I’m blazed as fuck, drunk and just took a random pill in the middle of no where. I was convinced that if I fell asleep I would never wake up. There was no way I could drive out of there and ended up falling asleep. Never got stabbed but also never spoke to her again.
3.
I didn’t know I was on one. A friend of mine had a friend coming into town and she asked me if I could pick her up from the bus station since she wouldn’t be off work in time. After picking her up, my friend explained that she was going to have to stay late and asked if I could entertain her in the meantime. Sure, no problem. We grabbed coffee and talked and I became so uninterested in this girls personality. I just figured after I dropped her off I would never see her again.
We eventually meet up with said friend and we all go to a house party. We all stat drinking and playing beer pong and what not and the girl keeps trying to be my partner and as she gets more drunk she keeps trying to hold my hand and keeps relating us to a tv couple that was popular at the time because our names are the same. I wasn’t having it. Eventually she gets mad and starts yelling at our mutual friend that this is the worst blind date ever and that I wasn’t into her at all and because of that she wasted all her time and money coming to visit. I just stood there like, “Um….. wut?”
2.
Waited for her at the theater for two hours. She shows up drunk. Watched shit movie, just whatever was about to start. She took me to a bar afterwards. Ended up being a gay bar and she tried to get me to admit I was gay. I flirted with the gay bartender to make the night less shitty.
1.
Drove 40 minutes for a date with a women who didn’t have a car, but she seemed really nice. Everything was going well for the first 10 minutes, then her ex showed up at the bar and joined us. They fought in front of me for 40 minutes, and I was just really hungry and enjoying the show with my dinner.
Turns out she cheated on him, and I sent the rest of the ate talking to him. Super nice dude.