11.
son? i think it’s time for the talk”. u see, when 2 grownups love each other very, very much, capitalism forces them to work wildly conflicting hours, and the brief pockets of time they do have together are spent too exhausted to enjoy one another’s company
— allison gallagher (@allisongallaghr) March 10, 2018
10.
i enjoy video games because they let me live out my wildest fantasies, like being assigned a task and then completing that task
— Anna Maree @ #SXSW (@rxysurfchic) December 17, 2016
9.
son? i think it’s time for the talk”. u see, when 2 grownups love each other very, very much, capitalism forces them to work wildly conflicting hours, and the brief pockets of time they do have together are spent too exhausted to enjoy one another’s company
— allison gallagher (@allisongallaghr) March 10, 2018
8.
99% of being an adult is figuring out whether you’re hungry, horny, or tired and trying to remember why you’re mad at someone.
— Sam Grittner (@SamGrittner) March 10, 2016
7.
[me, always]
i hate literally everyone
[someone hurts my feelings]
why is this happening. how can u do this to me, the prince of kindness— dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) July 19, 2016
6.
Am I perfect? No.
But do I try my best and keep a positive attitude? Also no.
— Zoe Gardner (@ZoeJardiniere) January 3, 2018
5.
Me, an adult: texts my mom at almost 11pm to ask how long I hard boil eggs for
— rebecca ?️?✨? (@orlaisbians) March 4, 2016
4.
“Well, I did everything I could,” I said, having given up quite easily.
— Floyd (@dafloydsta) December 28, 2016
3.
“Can everyone just stop?” I plead.
“Stop what?” they ask.
I frantically gesture at everything.
— batkaren (@batkaren) November 28, 2017
2.
Me ignoring someone vs me being ignored pic.twitter.com/GLyNlPMMmk
— Michael Benjamin (@mfbenji) March 7, 2018
1.
me @ $2 sandwich: It’s affordable but is it filling? If it’s filling, will it provide me with enough satisfaction? What is the nutritional value of this…? Maybe I should save my money…
me @ $4.75 coffee: mmm cofy— Lei ❌ (@gleivytrain) December 9, 2017