I wear short skirts to attract male attention but also to give my turds easy and direct access to the ground
— Tamara Yajia (@DancesWithTamis) August 22, 2016
“Is he hot or just tall?”-me, mere seconds before making a Mistake
— jugs bunny (@alliewach) October 6, 2016
Tonight I told a man how old I am and he told me I was wrong I think this might be peak mansplaining.
— (((OhNoSheTwitnt))) (@OhNoSheTwitnt) August 29, 2017
Forehead kisses are how men absorb all the sense in your brain. Stay woke sis
— ThatMalawianGirl (@Chikoberry) December 13, 2017
Hey boy, are you a software update? Because not now
— Desi (@DesiJed) May 10, 2015
I just out-manspreaded a man next to me on the tube and forced him to take up a normal amount of space, he stepped on my foot as he got off so I tripped him up. Men of London, I will play these games with you all day pic.twitter.com/RG3aA3pz0p
— Candice Carty-Wakanda (@CandiceC_W) February 19, 2018
Date: It’s been hard opening up since my father passed aw-
Me: *sees a dog* sorry I have to go
— moody monday (@mdob11) November 28, 2016
Baby giraffes can walk within minutes of birth but sure, show me more photos of your infant doing nothing, Carol.
— shauna (@goldengateblond) April 13, 2016
GUY: Where’s my hug
— erin chack (@ErinChack) September 23, 2016
You can complain all you want about women taking selfies; we aren’t the ones naming our children our own exact fucking names.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) May 25, 2016
Girls chat: complimenting each other’s selfies, sharing heartfelt mental health and relationship advice, taking each other’s deepest secrets to the grave
Boys chat: pitching ideas for podcasts that already exist
— Tiffany (@riptiff) February 26, 2018