He’s Not Wrong
To this day most of my family refers to a strainer/colander as a “noodle stay, water go” because my older brother called it that once when he couldn’t find it and needed to ask where it was.
starshock990
At the Plate
She said “bumper number” instead of license plate … which I kind of like better honestly.
recordskip
Horning In
My girlfriend was frustrated because she couldn’t find her shoehorn, and then said loudly “WHERE IS THE BOOT SPOON”
cthlpls
Anchors Aweigh
I once called the Navy “the aqua army”
breakingbadforlife
Blessed Ladel
I worked in kitchens for years, in Texas. I had a crew of hicks working for me and they referred to the strainer as the “holey bowl.”
I still call it this.
Foodntittays
Beep, Beep
I once had to listen to my mother tell a 10-minute story about all the honkers she saw at the park.
Geese. She meant geese.
Knerdian
Dry As a Desert
A polish exchange student was thirsty after a night out and didn’t know what to say. He pointed to his mouth and said “Sahara”.
Khoasama
So What Grows on Trees?
I read a post on Reddit where a girl called a feather a “bird leaf”.
the_slippery_shoe
Toxic Substances was the Opening Act
Back in (the) 90s I was 14 and begging my mom to let me go to a Guns n Roses concert. I kept nagging until she got frustrated but couldn’t remember the band name and said:
“I’M NOT LETTING YOU GO TO ANY DAMN DEATH AND FLOWERS CONCERT!”
I couldn’t stop laughing.
MetalHead310
A-B-C, 1-2-3
I once forgot the word for “letters” and asked my coworker how many alphabet numbers a word had.
allibys
