Are you a Game of Thrones fan? Who am I kidding, you’re alive in 2017 — of course you’re a Game of Thrones fan. Or you’re one of those holdouts who thinks they’re so cool for not being on the mainstream ship everyone else is happily sailing on. Congratulations! You don’t watch a show! What’s it like to be that interesting?
For the rest of us, we relish in our Game of Thrones fandom. The anticipation, the predictions, and the merch. The glorious merch. And as the show wraps up, you’re running out of time to grab yourself the best Game of Thrones stuff and make it your own.
1. Like this candle that every dragon mother needs in her cave.
It’s got a baby dragon inside! A BABY DRAGON!
Get it now on Firebox.
2. Or this Iron Throne toilet seat decal.
That’s right. May your poops unite all the seven kingdoms in peace and harmony.
Get it now on Amazon.
3. Hold the door while wearing this Hodor Christmas sweater!
Then try not to cry!
4. Or, if you don’t have a soul, you can use one of these Hodor door stops.
Because why deal with the pain and sorrow of life when you could just laugh at it. Just keep laughing! That’s right. That’s healthy.
Get them now on Amazon.
5. Oh, and if you haven’t read the books, these beautiful hardcovers are a good place to start.
And if you’re thinking “But there’s more books coming out! Why would I buy a box set now?!” Well… I got some bad news for ya.
Get it today at ThinkGeek
6. This Jon Snow phone case is just as sulky as the real Jon Snow.
No one will see when you kiss it goodnight every time you go to sleep. No one.
Get it now on Society6
7. This Stark lamp will make your allegiance loud and clear.
Good thing, too. Because from what I hear the north doesn’t forget. Or something like that.
Get it now from BoxLunch.
8. Kill time with this Game of Thrones coloring book.
It’ll get you through that promo of Ballers before every episode.
Get it now on Firebox.
9. If your favorite character is Hot Pie, then this wolf cake pan is a must have.
Hell, even if he’s your second favorite character. But obviously he’s in the top 5.
Get it now on BoxLunch.
10. Game of Thrones Monopoly. Need I say more?
You could get at least one game in while we wait for the next season!
Get it now on Amazon.
11. Cersei is slightly less horrifying as this adorable pop doll.
Still though, it feels like she’s going to lock me in a cage and kiss me with poison lipstick…
Get it now on BoxLunch.
12. Don’t open a beer without your hand.
The hand of the king that is. This bottle opener will make you feel proud to serve whoever it is you’ve managed to lie, kill, and cheat your way next to.
Get it now on ThinkGeek.
13. The Mother of Dragons is useless without her dragon wallet.
You think chain-breaking and throne-taking is free? Hell no, mama need her plastic.
Get it now on ThinkGeek.
14. This t-shirt makes Dragonstone look like a band.
Game of Thrones fans will love the reference, and non-GoT fans will think you’re cool for knowing about an obscure band. Win/Win!
Get it now on ThinkGeek.
15. Need something to feed your watch party? Check out this official Game of Thrones cook book.
Just stay away from the chapter on Frey-pies. You don’t wanna know what’s in those.
Get it now on Amazon.
16. Make a back-to-school statement with this official Stark banner.
That statement is “Yes I like Game of Thrones more than our division 3 basketball team, Karen.”
Get it now on Amazon.
17. Be the shield — with this awesome coffee mug!
Because no one can guard the wall, or unite the seven kingdoms, or shovel sh** for the Maesters without their morning cup of coffee.
Get it now from HBO.
18. Make Westeros great again with this election t-shirt.
It’s not like they’re ever gonna win, right? Right?
Get it now on Amazon.
19. Kill a little time between episodes with these playing cards.
You can even invent a new card game. Like a combination of Black Jack and Go Fish. Call it Blackfish. That was a long walk, but we got there together.
Get it now on Amazon.
20. When the show’s over you can drink the pain away with these Stark shot glasses.
I drink, and I throw up on things.
Get them now on Amazon.
21. Or be an adult and drink from this Lannister wine glass.
Unleash your inner Cersei. But like… not too much.
Get it now on Amazon.
22. Put your GoT knowledge to the test with this trivia game.
After a while, you’ll memorize the answers and people will think you’re some kind of complete loser. It’ll be awesome.
Get it now on Amazon.
23. This Longclaw letter opener will make you feel like you’re fighting White Walkers.
When you’re really just fighting a mounting pile of credit card bills. Same thing though, basically.
Get it now on Amazon.
24. Can’t climb the wall without this official House Stark carabiner.
Safety first, kids.
Get it now on Amazon.
25. Never send an un-epic invitation again with this wax-sealing stamp.
No one will be able to resist a sealed letter. Especially Varys. Watch out for that guy.
Get it now on Amazon.
To be clear we may receive a portion of the sales generated from this post, and use it to pay our debts to the Iron Bank.