While we, personally, may not be the type of individuals who would blow up their own spot, we’re grateful there are those individuals out there who would. It’s not only a good life lesson, but a bit of comedic relief to know we’re not the only awkward turtles out here trying to navigate life.
I work at a bank and this lady came in with a $150,000 check and to make conversation I was like “oh wow I wish I had one of these” then she deadass was like “it’s a life insurance check. I would rather have the person.” pic.twitter.com/3FXUdPdO88
— maskulla? (@MakVest) January 22, 2018
my mom pulled down my tube top to cover my stomach and my titties fell out so now everybody at sams club knows what my titties look like
— jada (@jadmev) January 20, 2018
I JUST ASKED SIRI IF A CERTAIN BOY WOULD EVER TEXT ME AND SHE SENT A TEXT SAYING WILL YOU EVER TEXT ME TO HIM. My funeral will be held at 8pm this Thursday.
— Ceci ✮ (@CeciMula) January 17, 2018
I put cucumbers, lemons, lime, and mint leaves in my water today thinking I was fancy…my one student gonna yell out and say “Ms. Luck got a salad in her water”
*students erupt in laughter*
— autumnpaige (@autumnsays_) March 14, 2018
I’m really tired of being 5’2. How can we move to our new house and the kids in the neighbourhood, knocked on my door to ask my dad if im playing out. I’m fuming. I’m turning 22 in 2 months
— Feyoncé (@FeyiCarter) January 26, 2018
MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED
— Sarah Lyons (@sarbeaaaar) January 3, 2017
i got into the elevator at my office today with a guy who i don’t know and we both reached for the same button so i said “floor buddies” and he didn’t respond so i am seeking employment elsewhere. let me know of any jobs please
— Bob Vulfov (@bobvulfov) January 11, 2018
As if the police have just came to my house. They explained to me someone took photos of my car as they where worried as blonde hair was sticking out the back. The policeman then asked me to open my boot so I did. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EMBARRASSED it was ma clip in weave?
— Meghan Alexandra (@megalexandrax) January 10, 2018
Ok so last night a girl was crying in the toilets cause her ex got a lass pregnant who he cheated on her with, so me tryna make her feel better said “could be you tho and kids are awful u don’t want them” she looked me dead in the eye and said “I already have two kids”
— Jessss (@jessicaabrownnn) January 1, 2018
So they changed my gate in my layover and I ask the employee what the gate changed too. I showed her my screenshotted ticket and she looked at me strange and just ask me where I was going. I told her and then looked at my phone to realize I was actually showing her this pic.twitter.com/ZvfqV4p4yn
— JORDAN☀? (@TheRavenousDyke) December 29, 2017