{I’ll be honest, the fact that they thought this incident was “weekend-ruining” has me dying.)
Here’s the dramatic review in full:
We took this ball to the beach and after close to 2 hours to pump it up, we pushed it around for about 10 fun-filled minutes. That was when the wind picked it up and sent it huddling down the beach at about 40 knots. It destroyed everything in its path. Children screaming in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles. Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families. The faster we chased it, the faster it rolled. It was like it was mocking us. Eventually, we had to stop running after it because its path of injury and destruction was going to cost us a fortune in legal fees. Rumor has it that it can still be seen stalking innocent families on the Florida panhandle. We lost it in South Carolina, so there is something to be said about its durability.
Rarely has a (probably hilarious) beach catastrophe been described so eloquently. (Although I’m sure it’s not quite as funny for the innocent families in the Florida panhandle.)
The post quickly went viral on Reddit, with over 138,000 upvotes.
One person claimed to have seen the disastrous beach ball on its destructive course of vengeance. “South Carolinian here,” reported Redditor drone42. “I saw it yesterday making its way up the Catawba, headed for Lake Wylie. With any luck it’ll veer west and wipe out Gastonia. I fucking hate that place.”
Another Redditor actually owns the “Beach Behemoth” and confirmed that it is actually a bit of a nuisance. I have one of these,” SkylerPC commented. “Only takes 20 minutes to blow up if you have an electric pump. Can confirm is fun, and also a pain in the ass to control and store.”
Redditor FalstaffsMind thought that this diabolical beach ball could still have a purpose, however. “This would be a great office prank, though. Blow it up in somebody’s office or cube when they are on vacation,” they suggested. (Honestly, this should probably be recommended in the Amazon description.)
People were still confused about the “Beach Behemoth” description, though.