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If You Can Make It Through This Post Without Spending $20, You’re Superhuman

Look, I’m not going to tell you to buy any of this stuff, but if you can make it through the entire post without buying anything, you should move to a sanctuary in Tibet because you’ve got monk-like self-control. Either that or I want you to come mange my savings and personal budget.

1. This swimsuit is designed to make you look like you have a hairy chest.

This thing was actually on Shark Tank, if you can believe it.

You can get it from Amazon for $50.

2. This floating ramp lets you prevent little critters from drowning in your pool.

Get it from Amazon for $21.


3. This pirate-leg sharpener is honestly just too good. 

More like pencil ShARRRRRRpenr, AMIRITE?

Get it from Amazon for $8.

4. This heat-changing mug is able to tell you when your coffee is in desperate need of a refill.

Get it from Amazon for $8.

5. This wall clock is great for anyone who never shows up anywhere on time.

Get it from Amazon for $15.

6. This rolling pin is guaranteed to uniformly flatten your dough so your pizza crust doesn’t look like a Picasso.

Get it from Amazon for $16 (available in multi-color, and blue).

7. These egg pods kind of look like aliens hatching their young, but they’re actually for making perfect poached eggs every time.

Get a set of four for $8.

8. These adorable and affirmation cards are a great way to pick yourself up out of a hole.

Get them (a pack of 50) from Amazon for $12.51.

9. These genuine leather handmade cord organizers. will keep you from having to play the “untangle my earbuds game” six times per day.

Get it from Amazon for $7.

10. This piggy steamer will stop food from splattering all over the inside of your microwave, while also being cute.

Get it from Amazon for $15.

11. These trash panda, I mean, raccoon earrings are pretty dope.

Get them from Amazon for $6.

12. A corn stripper is a great way to eat your corn on the cob without needing to floss for three hours afterwards.

Interesting Review: “Corn stripper might be my favorite type of stripper next to a regular stripper.”

Get it from Amazon for $14.

13. Snorlax slippers are great for Pokémon fans and any perpetual sleeper looking for a spirit animal to wear around the house.

Get them from ThinkGeek for $29.99.

14. These earrings that perfectly capture your relationship with drinking too much wine.

Get them from Amazon for $11.99.

15. This smartphone attachment lets you take better selfies of your dog.

Trust me, your IG friends will thank you.

Get it from Firebox for $18.59.

16. These earrings are made to hold your airpods in place while you’re exercising, or having sex while listening to music for some reason.

Get them from Fab for $48.

17. These gum magnets are a cute way to leave a note while also making someone temporarily believe you vandalized their property.

Get them from Amazon for $7.41.

18. This “UNT” mug, which I can only assume means University of North Texas.

`Get it from Firebox for $12.

19. These abusive balloons are a great way to deflate a party.

Get them on Firebox for $9.