18. Phone Soap, the UV sanitizer for all that feces on your iPhone.
You don’t want to know how dirty your phone really is, but for $35 you don’t need to worry about it. BONUS: Your phone also gets a nice little suntan!
17. This back support, so you do don’t look like The Hunchback of Notre Dame by the time you’re 40.
Sure, the Better Back may look silly, but not as silly as lurching around looking like you’re bent over at the waist your whole life. Price: $59.
16. One of these things you see in bathrooms a lot now.
Apparently, I’ve been taking s**ts wrong my entire life. The Squatty Potty gets me back in touch with my primal ancestry by helping me take dumps in the position nature intended. Better for your colon, and digestive system, allegedly. Price: $24.99.
15. The Chord Buddy, the easiest way to learn to play the guitar so you can bust it out at parties and have everyone hate you.
Get it for $50.
14. The One-Z nursing pillow.
Another thing I own personally. It’s a great way to multi-task (AKA, look at your phone) while nursing a newborn. Cheaper than most baby stuff, for sure.
13. Frends, AKA “those headphones you always see people wearing.”
People rave about them.
Price: $180, which isn’t bad compared to f**king Beats by Dre.
12. Unshrinkit, the only way to still fit in your high school jeans*.
*I don’t know if this will help you fit into your high school jeans, but it supposedly helps you un-shrink other stuff. $20.
11. Eco Nuts, which is also what I assume Al Gore calls his testicles.
Allegedly these reduce drying time by 10%-25%. Price: $20.
10. Simply Fit, the workout balance board I’d probably die trying.
Get your core jacked for $39.
9. Plate Topper, the ideal leftover storage solution for people as lazy as me.
Why bust out a bunch of Tupperware when you can just keep your leftovers on the plate you’re going to use later anyway? $12 for 2.