Adulthood. It’s hard. And for everyone in that post-grad life, expected to have all your life planned without knowing how 401Ks work, it is especially difficult. Yesterday, I opened up a Roth IRA and the guy on the phone was asking me about my plans for retirement and I just said, “I don’t know, man. I’m a child.” Yeesh. Luckily for our generation, we’ll all be underwater in like a decade, after the West Coast plummets into the sea, so go out there and max out those credit cards while you can. But first, enjoy these tweets.
23.
i can’t believe i have to keep washing this stupid body until i die
— pascalle (@frenchielaboozi) February 27, 2014
22.
level 1: venting by crying
level 10: venting by faking a conversation in your head with someone
level 113: venting by creating an intricate alternate universe scenario in ur head where ur a celebrity on a talk show dramatically explaining the shit u’ve been going thru
— f thot fitzgerald (@dracomallfoys) January 16, 2018
21.
Me: Mom, I am an adult, so you need to treat me like one. Also me: Mom, I need some laundry detergent & toilet paper to take home.
— Legally Caffeinated (@LCaffeinated) March 11, 2018
20.
Sometimes I’ll take a nap to fast-forward a couple of hours I’m too bored to live through
— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) January 26, 2015
19.
types of vacations I need
– a week to deep clean everything I own, twice
– a week to just sleep, then sleep some more
– a week where I don’t speak to anyone
– a week where I can cook constantly and never have to clean up
– 2-3 days where I don’t have to make any decisions— folu (@notfolu) February 5, 2018
18.
Me aged 15: I can’t wait to be an adult and do what I want!
Me aged 28, eating spaghetti at midnight, crying over The Princess Diaries: yes this is exactly what i had in mind
— Chloe Dungate (@ScarfDemon) March 10, 2018
17.
Being an adult is basically just texting your friends back and forth saying stuff like, “work is crazy” & “i’m so tired” until one of you dies
— Angelo (@iamangnapoli) March 10, 2018
16.
Being an adult is just a constant series of idk, idc, and lots of wtf.
— Weese Jr. (@Thee1_4U) March 6, 2016
15.
The only two ways to reply to emails:
1. straight away within seconds I have no chill
2. “I am sorry it took me six months to reply, I opened it, thought ‘i’ll do this later’ and then had several large crises”— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) January 23, 2018
14.
can’t believe i grew up to be aunt hilda pic.twitter.com/L4kB1SHUp8
— joe (@jsphdeal) March 6, 2018
13.
earth sucks nothing works. only like 2 volcanoes ever go off. have to wash dishes before i put them in the dishwasher. so tired of this shit
— KING RAINHEAD (@KingRainhead) May 31, 2014
12.
“I REALLY THINK THIS IS THE EYESHADOW PALETTE THAT’S GONNA TURN IT ALL AROUND FOR ME” I scream-cried at the Sephora cashier
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) November 11, 2014