6. Simple. Effective. Wet.
Kid stole my water bottle. I opened it up and left it inside his backpack.
7. Sorry, your letter was lost.
On every email I send, I attach my name, company, position, etc. ALL the time people will respond “Thank you Sara”….but my name is spelled with the “H”. I have started to reply to them leaving off a letter of their name. “No problem Rene” “Have a good day Jon”. They probably think I am an idiot, but it is worth it to me.
8. How to deal with an office crush.
Someone in my office would always crush lunches with his gigantic ass lunch box. Either he ate bricks or lead, I don’t know, but I always came to the office fridge and found that my lunch was in pieces.
So, after three bouts of this, and numerous notes from myself and other colleagues, I carefully removed his lunch box, emptied the contents (a gigantic sandwich, a Twinkie, chips, some vegetable pieces, and a few other bits), and ran over them with my car. I carefully packed it back in, and put it back.
He kept his lunch in a cooler by his cube from then on.
9. Urine trouble!
When I was a kid I had a bed wetting problem. I am not ashamed of this now, as thousands of other kids have had the same problems… at the time however, this was humiliating. My younger brother started telling other kids around school how extensive the issue was. I was mortified.
Even after our mother told him to knock it off, he continued. So I decided to level the playing field. The whole “hand in cup of warm water” deal didn’t work. I stood over him as he slept one night and pissed on him. The next morning, my mom was horrified and wound up taking a call from my grandmother.
“I don’t know what to do, now BOTH of them are pissing the bed,” she explained, clearly frustrated.
After a few more times of “framing” my brother as a bed wetter he completely stopped using my embarrassing problem as entertainment.
10. Even Hippies can be nasty.
I was in a big meeting (50 managers/supervisors) and two high level guys made fun of my car (Subaru Outback) in their presentation. I had access to their personal info (phone #, address, emails) and sent it to the Subaru sales group, asking for a test drive/quotes/etc. They got spammed pretty well for a while.