10 Things I’d Rather Be Told Than “You’re Hot”

Being told that I’m beautiful or hot by the person I’m dating is nice and it always makes me feels good, but there’s so much more to me than my physical appearance. There are other compliments that hold so much more value and that I’d rather hear.

  1. I’m strong. I want my other half to assess me as a person and come to the conclusion that I have strength of character. After all, what does appearance really matter in a long-term romantic prospect? Sure, you have to find them physically attractive and have sexual chemistry, but looks fade. Plus, you fall in love with a person, not their appearance.
  2. I’m motivated and drivenI want my significant other to admire my aspirations and determination in life. “You look great” is dated and such a throwaway compliment. Like, what am I going to do that? If they tell me about how much they love that my eyes light up when I’m talking about my passions and everything that I want to achieve in life, then they’re a keeper.
  3. I make their life easier. Instead of commenting on my appearance, I’d prefer that my other half tells me about how much of an asset I am to their life. I want them to tell me that I’m a dream to be with and I make their life so much more simple yet exciting. There’s a lot to be said for partners that big up your potential as a life partner rather than just sticking with surface-level chat.
  4. They’re happy I exist. I want to be told that my presence in this world is worthwhile because it brings light to the life of the person I’m with. “You’re hot” is such a copout compared to a deep and meaningful comment like this. After all, I can still make someone’s life better when I’m old and gray, long after my “hotness” fades.
  5. They don’t know what they’d do without me. As well as bringing sunshine to even their darkest days, I want my partner to tell me that they don’t want me to go anywhere and they hope that they’ll never lose me. I want them to make it obvious that they want me in their life no matter what. They can keep their physical compliments because I’ve heard all of them before, but something that involves their feelings can be brand new and exciting information.
  6. They’re proud of me. Similarly, it’s not very often in life that people turn to you and tell you that they’re proud of who you are and what you’ve achieved, so it’s up to my other half to make up the numbers. Let’s save the small talk for strangers on the street or at the grocery store—I want my S.O. to open up and pour their heart out to me for me so that I feel truly appreciated.
  7. They’ve got my backIt’s also rare in life that you feel like someone’s 100% there for you no matter what, especially if you don’t get on with your family or you have a limited number of close friends. This is everything to hear and even better to experience. All they have to do is prove it.
  8. I’m not like the rest. I’m willing to bet money on the fact that the person I’m dating has told all the other people they’ve dated in the past that they’re good-looking. Telling me something more worthwhile means so much more to me because it implies that I’m not like the rest. I’m special and I deserve the best.
  9. I’m wife materialIf things are progressing well and we’re in love, then being told that I’d make a good future wifey is perhaps one of the biggest compliments I could ever receive. After all, I want them to confirm everything that I’m thinking with regards to our future together and where we see the relationship heading. This trumps any possible compliment about my appearance.
  10. I make them a better person. This is perhaps the best thing that my partner could say to me. I mean, who doesn’t want to hear that they’ve had a positive effect on someone’s life and helped them to become an improved version of themselves? It’s extremely flattering. I’d much rather hear powerful, meaningful compliments like this any day instead of the same old unoriginal comments about my appearance.

Katie Davies – Katie is a freelance writer and blogger from England. In between cups of coffee, she has written for a number of businesses and publications on her three favorite subjects of fashion, travel and dating. She loves to use her personal knowledge and previous experiences to help others through her writing and blogs weekly at or tweet her @kdavieswrites.