11. A combo-iPad toilet paper holder.
Seems like a natural solution to the problem of accidentally dropping your iPad in shit water while trying to watch the latest season of Silicon Valley.
12. This “ergonomic” chin rest.
13. These electric shoes.
Yea, like you’re just supposed to walk everywhere on your own like some kind of idiot?
14. This self-mixing chocolate milk mug.
15. This face-down beach lounger.
Now you won’t even be able to see who’s eye-fucking your ass at the beach for just $139. Also, it’s good for reading or whatever.
16. This milk tap that keeps you from ever having to lift the jug again.
Get it for $6.39. Or don’t and just keep pouring your milk out like a caveman.
17. A banana slicer.
Get it for $5.99. Also good for some really kinky sex? IDK.
18. This instant-snowball maker.
Read the reviews of a bunch of delinquents who love it.
19. This 12 MPH cooler.
Ok, it’s a bit pricey. But think about the energy you’ll save by not having to ask your kids carry your cooler from the car to the beach.
20. Canned PB&J
All the convenience of a sandwich, somehow made even MORE convenient.
21. A voice-activated popcorn maker that shoots popcorn directly into your mouth.
As God intended.
22. Socks for anyone who loves wine, but not enough to get up and get another glass themselves.
Get them from Amazon for $12.95.
Promising review: “These socks are thick and cozy anklet socks. The writing on the bottom of them is anti-slip as well, which really helps…especially if someone actually does bring you the wine, lol. Perfect gift for yourself or someone else!” —Ashley Bates