Expect to be rejected sometimes.
Rejection is all a part of life’s roller coaster. Therefore, you need to be strong enough to be able not to make sweeping generalizations when you’re rejected. Moreover, rejection doesn’t always have to be about the big stuff, or not getting into the college of your dreams. It can be something as small as being turned down by a girl.
So, recently ten people were killed in a high school shooting in Texas, on Friday. Among the two teachers and eight students that were killed was a girl names Shana Fisher. Allegedly, the shooter, Dimitrios Pagourtzis had been harassing Shana for months, as stated in an interview by Shana’s mom. Dimitrios was very persistent in asking her daughter. And did so several times in spite of her daughter’s rejection.
Shana Fisher "had 4 months of problems from this boy," her mother, Sadie Rodriguez, wrote in a private message to the Los Angeles Times on Facebook. "He kept making advances on her and she repeatedly told him no." https://t.co/clHL0gO6zP
— Matt Pearce ? (@mattdpearce) May 20, 2018
According to her mother, Fisher “embarrassed” him in front of the entire class a few days before the shooting incident. He intended on doing much more than that and brought explosives that malfunctioned on the site. Domitrious is currently under police custody.
NEW: The Santa Fe High School gunman killed a classmate, Shana Fisher, who had turned down his advances, her mother tells us. Shana finally stood up to him and embarrassed him in class, and "a week later he opens fire on everyone he didn't like." https://t.co/clHL0gO6zP
— Matt Pearce ? (@mattdpearce) May 20, 2018
Gun control and school safety have been an ongoing debate since the several shooting incidences. The state general, instead of making guns less accessible suggested that there should be lesser doors in schools to keep the kids safe.
Texas Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick says there are too many entrances and exits to schools, and that is why shootings are able to happen. "Had there been one single entrance possibly for every student, maybe he would have been stopped."
— Tom Namako (@TomNamako) May 18, 2018
Perhaps, it was time we instead taught our boys that girls don’t owe them anything. They owe them zilch. You can’t force yourself to like someone; therefore, if you’re rejected, there’s no need to make a big deal out of it. It’s always wise to just move the hell on! Twitter user @adigoesswimming has definitely had enough of women being torn down. Quoting Fisher’s mother, she started a thread on what she said to her nephew after he got rejected by a girl.
My teenage nephew told me he asked a girl out and she turned him down. I said, "You know what to do now, right?" He said, "I know I know keep trying" and I said "NO. LEAVE HER ALONE. She gave you an answer." He was shocked. NO ONE had told him that before. TEACH. YOUR. BOYS. https://t.co/yrxjNRnfk5
— ? Witch, Hunting ? (@adigoesswimming) May 20, 2018
Apparently, no one ever told her nephew that if a girl is not interested, you don’t keep pestering her life until she concedes. To be honest, if it’s not meant to be, it can never be.
Keep trying: work on yourself and find a girl who does like him. If first girl changes her mind, she'll let him know.
— Leslietfj (@leslietfj) May 20, 2018
He's a great kid and the right person will see that. She wasn't the right fit, but oh well. No harm in that for either of them.
— ? Witch, Hunting ? (@adigoesswimming) May 20, 2018
But he has an aunt who can TEACH him. What a gift. And we should all downplay high school crushes, which leave such an imprint but are the product of very unformed ideas about character, romance, love, and life's possibilities as well as brains that aren't done growing.
— L J Platt (@ljordanplatt) May 20, 2018
Dealing with rejection is a part of growing up. In her opinion, a lot of kids aren’t learning this. There is a huge connection between domestic violence and mass shooting which is often ignored by the authorities.
I don't know that downplaying them is the answer. They feel so intense and heartbreaking and kids' feelings should be respected. But unrequited love is part of life and it can be a lesson in self-care while respecting others.
— ? Witch, Hunting ? (@adigoesswimming) May 20, 2018
This isn't the first school shooting because of an ex or spurned advances…. It's such a shame…
— Inhospitable Womb (@misstomrstomom) May 20, 2018
No. Domestic violence, and the precursors to, are so often the root.
— ? Witch, Hunting ? (@adigoesswimming) May 20, 2018
Some people think that this is because of the picture perfect relationships and romance that is shown in movies.
Good for you! People cling to some "romantic" notion that if you try and try that shows true love or some such nonsense. Blame hollywood.
— Abby (@AbbyK_UIC) May 20, 2018
Time to change Hollywood, too. More women in charge.
— ? Witch, Hunting ? (@adigoesswimming) May 20, 2018
I don't know though, the thought of adults telling teenagers how to approach each other makes me uncomfortable. It seems a little overbearing.
— Alfredo Louro (@LouroAlfredo) May 20, 2018
And that kids should be able to figure this out on their own.
It's called raising children and being a good influence. He came to me for advice.
— ? Witch, Hunting ? (@adigoesswimming) May 20, 2018
Am raising my three boys to hear and accept No from girls without reacting nastily to rejection. Them feeling like it's overbearing doesn't change my parental responsibility to teach it to them. It's essential that they learn this skill.
— Maro Virino (@Maro_Virino) May 20, 2018
Our just-a-teenager really wishes we wouldn’t talk to him about safe sex stuff and consent because it’s embarrassing, but he’s getting the conversation anyway because he needs it. Too bad for him.
— Kris (@piratefoxy) May 20, 2018
Romeo and Juliet may have set the bar very high. But, no means no, and that’s something we need to teach the younger generations. Let us know what you think of this particular approach in the comments below.