15.
5-year-old: *at her doll* WHY WON'T YOU STOP SINGING?!
Me: Now you're a real parent.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) January 31, 2018
16.
That awkward moment when your child looks to you for wisdom and you're like, "Honey, I don't even know what day of the week it is."
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) November 14, 2017
17.
I hope people think my toddler has a slight English accent bc we're so cultured and not bc she's basically been raised by Peppa Pig
— Sweatpants Cher (@House_Feminist) October 19, 2016
18.
Heard my 7yo call my 5yo a dick & I told her it isn’t a word she can say & she asked if she can say it when she’s 15 & I said no & she asked if she can say it when she’s an adult & I said no & she asked if she can say it in jail & I said if she goes to jail then she can say dick
— Ash (an female) (@adult_mom) January 15, 2018
19.
Husband: So we've basically given up.
Me: On what?
H: *gestures to 4yo carefully piling spaghetti on his head*: Parenting.
— Mom Psychologist (@mompsychologist) January 31, 2017
20.
What I thought I would say as a parent:
"You are going to change the world."What I say as a parent:
"Stop licking the window."— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) February 2, 2017