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People Shared Their Absolute Worst Valentine’s Day Stories And Believe Me When I Say They’re So So Very Bad

We want you to feel good this Valentine’s Day. Now, whether that means you are single and happy about it, single or sad about it, or coupled and feeling whichever way, stories of people doing worse (way, way worse) than yourself are always a welcome distraction.

WeΒ scoured a bunch of AskReddit threadsΒ to find the saddest, most heartless, verging on evil Valentine’s Day tales. Because we love you. Enjoy.

I’m not sure there is anything worse than this:

It was after the fact. I was deployed during Valentine’s Day, and when I came back…my wife was pregnant. Turns out the estimated conception date was Feb. 14th. Needless to say, we aren’t married anymore.

Sorry for laughing πŸ™

So here I am, a 20 year old socially awkward swede with barely any experience with girls. However, for some strange reason yesterday (13th) I grew the balls to ask a girl out for valentines. Not only did she say yes, she ended up going home with me and spent the night. This is where the story begins. … See, some of you redditors believe you are socially awkward, allow me to laugh. The first time I share my bed with a girl, I end up dreaming about going to the bathroom to pee. β€œWhats this warm sensation?” I ask myself. β€œMy waist is so warm!” Suddenly wake up from girl shouting and yelling.

…Oh god, I had PEED MY BED. IM TWENTY YEARS OLD AND I JUST WET MY BED. Please allow me to die.

Ok, to be fair, this sounds like kind of a fun date:

My boyfriend at the time had made reservations for lunch at a nice restaurant, but never came to pick me up. Two hours later he calls me to let me know he simply got distracted trying to memorize Die Antwoord lyrics and that it wasn’t a big deal because he had a back up plan. He then proceeded to take me to the grimiest IHOP in town and then go see Avatar for the 4th time.

Aw, this last sentence. The British are so polite:

EASY!

I was living with my SO (now ex – let’s call her BitchTits) at the time and we had been together for 3 years. I’m going back to 2003 here.

For Valentines Day, I had booked us a trip away to Barcelona for the weekend, so I finished work early on the Thursday afternoon to get home and pack her bags for her as it was a surprise. We were due to leave very early the next morning, so I was also preparing a nice meal for that evening and surprise her with the tickets just after. I also planned to propose to her while we were away, so I wanted everything to be absolutely perfect. I’d booked us a great hotel, a great restaurant etc. I was nervous and excited at the same time!

Went to Asda on the way home to pick up the ingredients for that evenings meal and a bottle of wine (or three) and hurried home to start cooking. I had just under 2 hours until she walked in and I wanted it all done, table laid out etc.

Anyway, pulled into the drive and her car was parked up in it’s usual spot, which was weird as she wasn’t due home for another hour yet and worked 15 miles away.

I unlocked the front door and gave a quick shout (the door wasn’t normally locked when someone was home). Nothing.

I shouted again. Nothing.

So, I went to the kitchen and started prepping the meal. Got everything done in about 15 minutes and was cooking away nicely. I still had plenty of time, so I ran upstairs for a quick shower and to get changed into another shirt.

Shower done, I made my way to our room and opened the door.

BitchTits was bent over the end of the bed, looking straight at the door while getting pummelled up the arse by one of my supposed friends.

After the shock passed, I calmly said: “Don’t mind me, I’m just grabbing my stuff and I’ll be out of your hair”

He gingerly pulled himself out and pulled the cover over himself while they both watched in amazement as I pulled my suitcase from the top of my wardrobe and packed as many clothes as I could get into it.

And then left.

Oh, and I went to Barcelona on my own and had a great weekend!

Second Oh, I gave him a kicking upon my return.

I sincerely hope this teacher is no longer employed in any school district, anywhere:

In 6th grade i asked a girl in my class out on valentine’s day, before she could answer, my female teacher said quite loudly “HA, your not going to go out with that loser are you” (she might have been joking but it didn’t sound like it). the girl i asked out went from having a smile on her face, to a disappointed look. she then turn to my teacher and said “no”, while i made the walk of shame back to my desk…

That’s kind of on you for just…going along with it:

A stuffed dog and a sweet, heartfelt declaration of undying love…that was written for the guy that she just broke up with to be with me. She just figured whatever, it’s already written and sealed. She even scratched his name off the envelope and wrote mine. We didn’t last long.

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