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Police On The Hunt For Woman Who Won’t Stop Pooping On People’s Lawns

In some of the most bizarre – yet important – news of the day: Colorado Springs police are on the hunt for a runner who “won’t stop pooping on people’s front lawns.”

Apparently, in Colorado Springs, a woman who has been named “The Mad Pooper,” – who always goes for a morning run and stops mid-way to take a dump on her neighbor’s front lawns. No, this isn’t satire or a joke – this is the real deal, folks.

According to Cath Budde – a lawn-poop victim – her kids were the first ones who caught “The Mad Pooper” on their lawn. Immediately after telling their mother, Budde ran outside and screamed at the woman – asking if she was “seriously taking a poop in front of her children. Budde told KKTV that her response was “Yeah, sorry.”

Budde also told the news network that the runner has pooped on her lawn way more than once – she’s caught her a total of three times. That’s three times this woman stopped with her pants down and took a dump in someone’s yard.

According to Budde – she isn’t the only lawn or backyard that has been victim to this runner. In fact, other people in the neighborhood claim they, too, have found human feces in their yards and – are not happy. Feeling as though she was at a loss, Budde asked the police department to help them out. According to Lt. Howard Black, from the Colorado Springs Police Department, while the issue is laughable – they are also concerned that the runner may have a “mental health issue.” Let’s be real – there are plenty of places to use the bathroom that are not people’s lawns. And, while no cop wants to be put on the “mysterious poop woman” case, they are working to find the runner who continuously craps on people’s homes.

Budde told KKTV that in seven weeks, they found poop and dirty tissue from the woman’s bathroom behavior in their front or back lawn – that’s basically two months of non-stop pooping. She even put up a sign to get the poor woman to cut the crap (literally).

Budde also points out that the local parks in their neighborhood provide public toilets for people to use – as well, as porta-potties. So, it’s not as if there are no other options.

Here’s to hoping “The Mad Pooper” finally finds a toilet bowl – or gets caught.

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