The Internet Can’t Decide If SpongeBob Is A Dish Sponge Or A Sea Sponge

What do we REALLY know about the sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea? We know he’s absorbent, yellow and porous, but that’s pretty much all we’re given in terms of background.

Recently, Celeste Yim underwent an exhaustive investigation into an unanswered question about Spongebob Squarepants: is he a dish sponge, or a true sea sponge?

Celeste was firmly in the dish sponge camp and didn’t even think it was a question.

Honestly, she didn’t even realize until talking with some friends that this could be a contentious topic of conversation.

To be fair, it’s a damn cartoon, so, is it really so crazy to assert that Spongebob could be a dish sponge?

Celeste even started a Twitter poll to determine Spongebobs origins once and for all.

Everyone seemed to be in agreement about Spongebob being a dish sponge — especially considering the evidence.

Someone even came up with a pretty plausible theory to explain Spongebob’s lifestyle.

Apparently, even the Spongebob Squarepants Broadway musical is in the dish sponge camp.

However, there were certainly some who were firmly in the sea sponge camp (and who have clearly watched the show more than once, unlike Celeste — JUST SAYING).

Celeste stuck to her guns though, attempting to parse out meaning from the theme song lyrics.

She also explained why she had become so fanatical about this debate.

Honestly, she is seriously overthinking this cartoon series.

Spongebob can be whatever we want him to be.

Although, apparently, lots of people think he’s a dish sponge.

While I appreciate Celeste’s “research,” I gotta jump in here and point out that Spongebob’s parents and grandma are all clearly sea sponges (re: their natural shape) and they all live under the sea.

So, I really don’t think that Spongebob is supposed to be a manmade dish sponge.

(Unless he was adopted, which I suppose is a plausible theory.)

What I’m trying to say is: THIS ?? DISH ?? SPONGE ?? THEORY ?? IS ?? TRASH ??

Sorry, Celeste. I just call ’em like I see ’em.