14.
I just googled, "how to get away with killing my husband" on @IMKristenBell phone. Just in case. Now there's a record.
— dax shepard (@daxshepard1) May 11, 2015
13.
My husband's so smart.
He's prepared for the Apocalypse by leaving pants puddled on the family room floor so he can make a quick exit.
— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) January 27, 2016
12.
My wife's been in Homegoods so long she just qualified for medical coverage.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) June 16, 2017
11.
"I could just get Quilted Northern and you can get whatever your brand is," the most married man in Target sighs into speaker phone.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) May 20, 2017
10.
Married almost 20 years, my advice to dating couples is to ask this important question What are your feelings on air conditioning in May?
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) May 17, 2017