140 characters doesn’t seem like a lot when it comes to describing your marriage, but these people managed to do it.
Marriage is essentially two people taking turns pushing down the top of the kitchen garbage so they don't have to take it out.
— Ian Mendes (@ian_mendes) May 20, 2016
Me: Want me to go grocery shopping?
Wife: NO. All you do is text me questions the whole time. I'll do it.
Husbanding level: Expert.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) October 14, 2016
Not to brag but my wife bought toothpaste because she thought it was almost empty and I squeezed out paste for two more months.
— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) August 5, 2017
My wife hates snakes. But if they sold snakes at Target, we'd probably have a few snakes.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) July 28, 2017
*wife runs back into our house which is on fire*
What are you doing!?
W: I just want to straighten up a little before the firemen get here
— The Cre Master (@Jmboyd58) April 5, 2017
I miss the days when my wife didn't even know what a farmhouse sink was.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 11, 2017